The Angry Video Game Nerd (TV Series)

Dragon's Lair (2007)

James Rolfe: The Angry Video Game Nerd

Quotes 

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : Man, fuck this game, man! Man, Jesus Christ. I'd rather fucking 69 a grizzly bear while shoving King Kong up my ass!

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : The decisions to this game are similar to if... say you're standing in a pool full of piss all the way up to your neck, then somebody comes in with a bucket full of shit to dump on your head. Do you dive down under the piss, or do you just stay up and take on the shit?

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : Fuck this game, fuck it to hell, fuck it to oblivian, fuck it to damn nation of mankind!

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : This game is all about trial and error. The only way to get good at it is to memorize everything that happens. Now, once again, I'd like to stress... What's the point of having an energy bar when everything kills you with one hit? One fucking hit!

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : To quote Full Metal Jacket: "It's all one big shit sandwich, and we all gotta take a bite."

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : What's with this backwards-ass bull shit?

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : The control is so stiff you'll wonder if your fucking controller is broken, though I heard that the Pal version is much smoother. I may have saved myself a few hundred emails by mentioning that.

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : This game is like a cruel joke you play on your friends. It's like, "Here, you want to play a game? Here you go, you fuckers!"

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : Why does the door stay open the whole time, but once you're in range, it comes down? What a tease! How the hell does the fucking thing kill you, anyway? I don't care if it's a door or a medival gate or whatever the hell it is, but it's certainly not an electrical fence or something like that, so why is it like deadly to the touch? The rules in this game make no sense! What were they thinking?

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : Did I just die by walking into the fucking DOOR?

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : Did I just die from walking into the fucking door? Yes, everything kills you in this game. Literally.

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : Son of a ass!

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : Do you stand or do you duck? Either way, you're fucked.

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : I've heard that the PAL version is much smoother. I probably saved myself a few hundred e-mails by mentioning that.