- Dr. Chris Taub: Just because you grew up in a Charles Dickens novel.
- Dr. Lawrence Kutner: Well, it's people like me who don't do it. When your life sucks from the beginning, nowhere to go but up.
- Dr. Gregory House: Come on, you're from one of the Twelve Tribes, you must know a ton of schysters.
- Dr. Chris Taub: What type of lawyer do you need? I'll bring it up at the next world domination subcommittee meeting.
- Dr. James Wilson: Why do women always do that?
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Fail?
- Dr. James Wilson: Create ridiculous standard that no human could meet. With your careers, your kids. You've got to be more like us men.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: You mean lazy? Blame others?
- Dr. James Wilson: Get help! Most men in your position have a deputy and two assistants at work. And a wife and two nannies at home. You're not superwoman. Don't be a martyr.
- Dr. Gregory House: [to Cameron] This is the favor? I was expecting something involving whipped cream and tongue depressors.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: You can't give up on life because...
- Dr. Remy 'Thirteen' Hadley: I'm not giving up on life. I'm just giving up on you! I finally feel like I have a grip on things. I can handle this. What I can't handle is dragging anyone else down with me.
- Dr. Chris Taub: Sane people don't attempt suicide.
- Dr. Lawrence Kutner: Not ever? So if you were being burned at the stake and someone handed you a gun?
- Dr. Chris Taub: I'd shoot the guys with the torches.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: [to House and his team] If anyone should be able to handle a depressed pain patient...
- Dr. Chris Taub: He insisted he was no longer...
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Apparently he lied.
- [looks at House]
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Didn't think I'd have to remind you of that remote possibility.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Do not try and force me to choose between my child...
- Dr. Gregory House: I'm forcing you to do your job!
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Rita, the spike on Dr. Hadley's IV bag wasn't pushed in all the way. Don't want any dosing errors.
- Nurse Rita: Sorry. It won't happen again... Stinks doesn't it?
- Dr. Eric Foreman: What?
- Nurse Rita: The medication. When we switch out the bags, you can smell it. It's disgusting.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: I didn't smell anything.
- Nurse Rita: Oh. She must be on the placebo then.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: [to Cameron] You offered to do House's budget because you wanted him to owe you. Wanted him to take that case. Why?
- Dr. Allison Cameron: Thought it would help House. Seeing someone worse off than him, possibly curing a guy who has even less to look forward to.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Can I ask you something? How would you like my job?
- Dr. Gregory House: Testicles. What do they make you think of?
- Dr. Chris Taub: STDs, testosterone issues, that summer on Fire Island.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: House, I've got a DYFS home visit on Friday.
- Dr. Gregory House: And I've got a W-H-O-R-E visit on...
- Dr. Gregory House: [to Cuddy] Either I need a new watch or Mowgli is cutting into your beauty sleep.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: [after searching the patient's home] There's nothing in there but a pharmacy's worth of pain meds. This guy makes House look like a Christian Scientist.
- Dr. Gregory House: [when Foreman calls him] Got to let the phone ring more than four times when you're calling a cripple.
- Dr. Remy 'Thirteen' Hadley: [to Foreman] Sticking your most improved study participant in my face. Is that your way of getting into my pants?
- Dr. Eric Foreman: I don't make the schedule, and if I did, I wouldn't use it as a social lubricant.
- James Carlton: [During Cuddy's home visit with DYFS] Dr. Cuddy, you've got sufficient income, a high degree of personal and professional stability, and you care enough to be embarrassed by what a mess this place is. Believe me, that puts you head and shoulders above most of the foster moms I visit.