Conan O'Brien: Self - Host

Quotes 

• Conan O'Brien : [in the monologue]  Now, as I mentioned, it seems a lot of people are offended by Barack Obama's "lipstick on a pig" comment. Personally, I've been thinking about it, I think they're reading too much into it. I don't think he meant to imply that Sarah Palin is actually a pig.

  Angry Audience Member : Wait, what, are you kiddin'? This was a direct attack on Sarah Palin. SHAME on Barack Obama! HE'S the pig!

  Conan O'Brien : [after audience laughter]  ... Okay, sir, I'm sorry, but I think you're overreacting.

  Angry Audience Member : "Overreacting"? This is just the latest in Obama's laundry list of tasteless Palin jabs!

  Conan O'Brien : Really? W-what are you talking about?

  Angry Audience Member : Yeah, first, he keeps talking about how he's against drilling in Alaska, a direct shot at Palin's pregnant daughter who was drilled in Alaska! Very funny, senator!

  Conan O'Brien : No, I don't, I don't think...

  Angry Audience Member : [interrupting]  Yeah, and then he wants to end the Iraq War with "honor". Get it? "On her", like Bristol Palin's boyfriend was on her? It's a cheap shot, it's just tasteless!

  Conan O'Brien : What- that's crazy!

  Angry Audience Member : No it's not! And how about Obama's constant call for "change", implying that Sarah Palin had a sex change?

  Conan O'Brien : Okay, sir, you're being ridiculous. You're making a mountain out of a mole hill.

  Angry Audience Member : "Mole hill"? That's a low blow, Conan, making fun of the giant mole on my hill-like penis. Shame on YOU!

  Conan O'Brien : Okay sir, if you don't mind, I'd like to get right back to my show. Okay?

  Angry Audience Member : "Right back"? Now you're making fun of the other hill penis I have on the right side of my back? Unbelievable!

  Conan O'Brien : Okay, that's fine, thank you.

  [audience applause] 

  Conan O'Brien : He's still really mad! All right, well... I'm gonna tell who's on the show tonight. Is that okay, sir?

  Angry Audience Member : Whatever, man.