Family Guy (TV Series)

I Dream of Jesus (2008)

Seth Green: Chris Griffin

Quotes 

• Peter Griffin : [Angrily]  Who did it?

  Stewie Griffin : Who did what, pop?

  Brian Griffin : Yes, Peter, what has you upset?

  Peter Griffin : Surfin' Bird. Is gone. I took it to bed, had sex wit it. It fell asleep in my arms and now this morning it's gone.

  Lois Griffin : Well, Peter, no one here would steal from you.

  [He begins to talk like a film noir detective] 

  Peter Griffin : Oh, like you didn't have a motive, Lois. You all had a motive! You know that I changed my will and left everything to the record. That's why you wanted the record out of the way. Meg wanted to get a passport for her twin sister to get her out of the country but the record wouldn't allow it. Only she didn't count on me figuring out she has no twin sister and that Meg herself was recently released from the sanitarium. That's when Chris came into the picture.

  Chris Griffin : [He pulls a gun on Peter]  So you got it all figured out, do ya? You couldn't leave well enough alone.

  Peter Griffin : You won't fire at me, Chris. You haven't got the stomach for it.

  [Chris pulls the trigger and water shoots out of the gun onto Peter's chest. Chris laughs] 

  Chris Griffin : I'm sorry Dad, I have no idea what you're talking about.