The Expendables (2010)
Sylvester Stallone: Barney Ross
Photos
Quotes
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Sandra : What are your names?
Lee Christmas : [points to himself] Buda...
Lee Christmas : [points to Barney] ... Pest
Sandra : Follow me, please.
[walks away]
Barney Ross : [slowly turns to Lee; deadpan] Buda and Pest? Nice.
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[first lines]
Barney Ross : We are the shadows and the smoke, we rise. We are the ghosts that hide in the night.
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Paine : Who sent you?
Barney Ross : Your hairdresser.
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Trench : Oh, like I said. I'm busy anyway, so give this job to my friend here. He loves playing in the jungle. Right?
Barney Ross : [sarcastically] Right.
Mr. Church : [Uncertain] That's right.
Trench : [to Barney] Hey, why don't we have dinner?
Barney Ross : Sure. When?
Trench : In a thousand years?
Barney Ross : Too soon.
[Trench walks off]
Mr. Church : [Confused; about Trench] What's his fucking problem?
Barney Ross : He wants to be president.
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Barney Ross : I got a feeling everyone else passed on this job, so our fee is $5 mil.
Mr. Church : $5 mil?
Barney Ross : And I want half upfront, and the other half in an offshore account. You got a problem with that?
Mr. Church : No. What I have a problem with is people who try to fuck me over. So if you take this money and you don't deliver, or you try to fuck me in some kind of weird cockamamie scheme of yours, me and my people are gonna come get you and your people and chop you up into little fucking dog treats. You got a problem with that?
Barney Ross : Let's talk.
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Barney Ross : [from trailer]
[in the middle of a mexican standoff, a faint buzzing sound can be heard]
Barney Ross : What's that?
Lee Christmas : I'm getting a text.
Barney Ross : Excuse me?
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Barney Ross : What the hell's he doing?
Lee Christmas : Hanging a pirate.
Barney Ross : Don't be ridiculous. Gunner! What are you doing?
Gunnar Jensen : Hanging a pirate!
Toll Road : That's seriously demented.
Yin Yang : This is no good.
Hale Caesar : Not that you'd feel it, but put one in Speed Racer's shoulder.
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Lee Christmas : What's he saying?
Hale Caesar : He said we're dead with an accent.
Barney Ross : We ain't dead.
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Gunnar Jensen : Warning shot!
Barney Ross : No!
Gunnar Jensen : [Fires his M79 Grenade Launcher at the pirate and blows him in half] Little low.
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Yin Yang : It's difficult.
Barney Ross : What?
Yin Yang : My life is difficult. I need more money.
Barney Ross : Why that?
Yin Yang : I work harder than the rest.
Barney Ross : No, you don't.
Yin Yang : Yes, I do! Everything is harder for me. When I'm hurt, wound is bigger, 'cause I'm smaller. When I travel I need to go farther.
Barney Ross : I know, because you're smaller, right?
Yin Yang : Yes.
[pause]
Yin Yang : I need more money.
Barney Ross : I know, you told me.
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Barney Ross : Come on. Why don't you man up? Jesus! She wasn't your type.
Lee Christmas : Why don't you keep saying "She wasn't my type?" So I could put a bullet in your bleak brain! Look who I'm taking to. Dracula's life coach. No wonder you're alone.
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Hale Caesar : What happened to you?
Barney Ross : I got my ass kicked.
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Paine : Look at me, you piece of trash! How many men you got?
Barney Ross : Just your mother!
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Barney Ross : [In the middle of a car chase] Get out there!
Yin Yang : Why me?
Barney Ross : Because you're smaller!
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Barney Ross : [Hale Caesar has just emptied a full drum magazine of his AA-12 shotgun; to Caesar] Damn, that thing's loud!
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Gunnar Jensen : [Barney has just shot Gunnar after nearly killing Yang] You shot me.
Barney Ross : You were gonna kill him.
Gunnar Jensen : I was only trying to scare him.
Barney Ross : Don't put that on me, you never really liked him.
Gunnar Jensen : [Gasping] Hey, am I dying?
Barney Ross : Shot three inches above the heart.
Gunnar Jensen : [Groans] I'll take that as a yes.
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Yin Yang : I need a raise.
Barney Ross : Say what?
Yin Yang : I want it for my son.
Lee Christmas : Since when did Yin Yang get a family?
Yin Yang : [Deadpan] You don't ask, I don't tell.
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Trench : Have you been sick? You've lost weight.
Barney Ross : Whatever I've lost you've found, pal.
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James Munroe : [Holding Sandra hostage] The agency parasites hired you, didn't they? I'd have paid you twice as much to go fishing! You'd have to think I'm pretty freaking stupid to surrender to the agency! Why would I do that? I created this! I made it all happen and they wanted me out! Why? Because I saw the big picture!
[Ross approaches him]
James Munroe : Stop walking!
[Holds the gun to Sandra's head. Ross stops]
James Munroe : And what about me and you? We're both the same! We're both mercenaries! We're both dead inside! So why the hell did you come after me?
Barney Ross : I didn't come after you, dipshit! I came for HER!
[Sandra escapes from Munroe. Ross shoots Munroe as Christmas throws Gunnar Jensen's knife straight through Munroe's chest, killing him]
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Lee Christmas : Are you crazy? You could've killed me!
Barney Ross : You're welcome.
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Barney Ross : What's wrong with this picture?
Lee Christmas : Everything.
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Barney Ross : [Lee arrives] It's Christmastime.
Tool : Yeah, I can smell him from here.
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Tool : [to Lee] I got a great idea. Why don't you let me doodle, like, a Charlotte's web on your head? On the top of your head. You know, something different, something exciting. 'Cause you got one of them perfectly shaped domed, muscular heads. I could put a web on the top of the head. Maybe a pregnant Charlotte coming out of your ear, peeking around, making sure them bugs don't come inside. Her long legs dangling down your neck. Yeah. Sexy, right?
Barney Ross : Very sexy. He looks thrilled.
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Gunnar Jensen : Bury me right. And I want a Viking funeral.
Barney Ross : You mean where they put you in a boat and set you on fire, Viking?
Gunnar Jensen : That's right!
Barney Ross : You're night a Viking.
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Pirate leader : Drop your guns!
Lee Christmas : Fat chance.
Barney Ross : Why do they always say that?
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Barney Ross : Gunner, last chance. Let him go or we're letting you go.
Gunnar Jensen : It's good to hang pirates. Old Viking custom.
Barney Ross : It isn't an old Viking custom at all.
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Barney Ross : You look nervous.
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The Brit : You know, if you didn't have this Kevlar vest, your insides are gonna be like fucking mush.
Barney Ross : Well, ain't that sad?
The Brit : You know, you're a lucky man.
Barney Ross : You're the lucky man.
The Brit : No, no, you're a lucky man. He told me to keep you conscious.
