- Greedy Smurf: What's smurfing on?
- Hefty Smurf: Yeah, who called an emergency assembly?
- Smurfette: I think Vanity did.
- Hefty Smurf: Vanity? Whenever Vanity calls an assembly, it's nothing but a waste of time.
- [the other Smurfs agree]
- Smurfette: Papa Smurf said any Smurf has the right to call an emergency assembly. Besides, maybe this time it really is an emergency.
- Brainy Smurf: Oh, the last time Vanity called an emergency assembly, it was to show off a dimple that magically appeared on his chin after breakfast.
- Hefty Smurf: Well, if this emergency's that silly, I vote we give him a whole head of new dimples.
- Vanity Smurf: Oh, please, please. My fellow Smurfs, I have an extremely important announcement to make. Ahem. I am wearing an extraordinarily, smurfy new hat.
- Smurfs: A new hat?
- Hefty Smurf: A new hat is not important enough for the whole village to assemble.
- Vanity Smurf: I know, but you Smurfs will use any excuse to see me.
- Hefty Smurf: That's the last smurf! Come on!
- [the angry Smurfs close in on Vanity]
- Vanity Smurf: Oh, how smurfy! You all want a closer look.
- Papa Smurf: Vanity, what's the meaning of this?
- Vanity Smurf: I'd say I'm not the most popular Smurf anymore. They threw me out of the village just because I have a new hat.
- Papa Smurf: [sighs] I told you before, Vanity, that you must stop calling emergency assemblies for trivial reasons.
- Smurfette: Vanity never came back for lunch. Maybe we should look for him.
- Brainy Smurf: Personally, I'd rather look for him than at him.
- Brainy Smurf, Smurfette: Papa Smurf! Papa Smurf!
- Papa Smurf: Brainy, Smurfette, what's wrong?
- Brainy Smurf: It's Vanity! He has a terrible problem!
- Papa Smurf: [chuckles] I know. It's just another one of his imaginary wrinkles.
- [after Vanity has been turned into a Wartmonger]
- Smurfette: Poor Vanity!
- Painter Smurf: It's a catastrofici!
- Grouchy Smurf: I hate catastrofici!
- Brainy Smurf: When Papa Smurf finds out Nat and Snappy missed breakfast, he's going to hold me, Brainy Smurf, responsible.
- Slouchy Smurfling: Don't worry, Brainy. You've never been responsible for anything.
- Vanity Smurf: [after being returned to normal] But are you sure I look smurfy again?
- Snappy Smurfling: We already told you you do.
- Slouchy Smurfling: Yeah, 97 times.
- Sassette Smurfling: Whaling whales, I think you look smurfier than ever, Vanity.
- Vanity Smurf: Really? Oh, then I better call an emergency assembly so the others can see how wonderful I look.
- Smurfs: Oh, no!
- Vanity Smurf: And in conclusion, my fellow Smurfs, I've learned that life is what you make it... but it helps if you're just naturally good-looking.
- [the annoyed Smurfs all groan]
- Hefty Smurf: Can't you do something about him, Papa Smurf?
- Papa Smurf: I'm afraid not. You see, Hefty, the more some Smurfs change...
- [Vanity kisses his reflection in his mirror]
- Papa Smurf: Heh heh heh. The more they stay the same.