Everybody Dies (2009) User Reviews

Not completely awful till the end.

[arthur-imdb · 2/10 · 20 June 2009]

Not completely awful till the end. The "fractured" narrative was kind of trying but could work with better action and a more robust plot. The way it is presented it triples the movie length by replaying almost each scene 3 or more times. Each time a scene is replayed it is longer with more dialog. Slowly filling in the gaps and making the movie make more sense. The plot had some serious holes and failed to explain things that kept nagging at me. But what pulled this movie from a 4 to a 2 is the lower than B movie quality action scenes. I have seen better shootouts in porn movies. The one at the end left me speechless. Why would you do it like that???

How does a film like this get made?

[mostlycarbon · 1/10 · 3 November 2009]

Honestly I wonder how a film like this gets made. I cannot imagine that at a casting call with any number of actors (besides one) that this guy was the BEST? While it was being shot could they not tell? It might have been a passable film with another lead. It's hard to tell though because I could not get past the incredibly uninspired deadpan tough-guy thing that the Lead was trying to pull off. It was almost painful to watch. As a matter of fact the film was so bad that I made this account for the sole purpose of warning others not to waste the time/bandwidth/rental required to see this movie. I've read reviews here at IMDb for a while but have never been so moved as to actually NEED to comment.

really bad movie, and what's up with that jerk's voice?

[eadverts · 2/10 · 27 June 2009]

I give them credit for trying. It's a really bad movie though. It try's too hard. There are moments of talent showing through in the cinematography but other than that, forget it. I feel really bad for any of the actors who might actually have talent who appeared in this movie, because it doesn't show here. AND, what the hell is up with the lead actors voice? He must be reading all his lines phonetically, which would actually show some talent, but it is just a horrible performance. Did he intend to sound this way? Did he make an effort to sound this way all through the movie? The most interesting thing about this movie, is trying to figure out what the hell this guy is doing with his voice and if he can actually speak English.

Nobody dies, horrible Eastwood impression.

[nathan-yeo · 4/10 · 24 August 2009]

Some body got ahold of the paint by numbers manual of bad 90's str8 2 video movie. RULE. 1 one the hero must be a cop with a mysterious military pass. RULE. 2 have him be part of some secret police unit. RULE. 3 He should be the lone-wolf rainmaker of the unit. that unit should be corrupt and incompetent. RULE. 4 He should turn against that unit protecting a call-girl or prostitute, or gangster-moll.

That's this movie except there's no body count, I don't remember any-one getting killed. mainly because I was to busy trying to figure out what accent he was speaking with. besides the accent he's doing this gruff Clenched-Jaw Clint Eastwood impression. In one scene he mumbles to a kid "Why do you have gold-teeth?" the kid retorts back "My father bought them for me." He then head-butts the poor lad and knocks them out. (WTF!!)(WTF)

I just wasted 2 hours* of my life that I will never get back!

[luvrmny · 1/10 · 2 July 2010]

I knew I was in trouble when I rented this movie. I asked the clerk when it was due back and he said, "Never mind, you keep it!" Wow! I rented it off of the 2 for $1.00 rack and I had a one half off coupon. Net cost to me was only 25 cents and I still feel I was ripped off. After struggling through the movie (I admit, *I cheated and did a lot of fast forwards), I knew, I just knew, that the lead actor and the producer would be one in the same.....Am I psychic or what?? It really threw me as to how Eli and his wife were this dude's parents...I mean, he spoke with some unidentifiable accent and Eli was just a "down home, good ole boy". I kept waiting to hear he was adopted or raised by wolves, but no explanation was given. The guy who played Eli (Alex Zonn) was the only talent in the film. The writer and director were the same person. The lead actor was the producer. The editing was chaotic. It looked like an artsy-craftsy high school project. Final project grade: D-

two thumbs up.

[nvaspider · 6/10 · 22 June 2009]

A low budget film does not have to make much sense, but if it makes you smile and makes you cry a little, then its done its job, and it deserves a 9 or 10 just like the big releases that come out in theatres. All the actors and actresses in this movie did a wonderful job, even the minor roles did a great job as well. I imagine them all on a big budget film it would be amazing. This josh evans is a good director and should make more films.

If you like my taste, and I know you will, have faith in my ratings and comments.

-spider

*for the record I gave it 6 stars, and still stand by my comment. loved the shootout at the end with the shotgun and helicopter. bad ass