- Richard Bates: [Walks up to the doorway to the dining room stark naked] Who wants to see me tuck and do the pee-pee-dance?
- Hank Moody: [raises hand] Come on, I can't be the only one?... Where are the girls?
- Richard Bates: And then... Just like that
- [snaps fingers]
- Richard Bates: he unveiled his beautiful man-pussy. His glorious mangina.
- [sings]
- Richard Bates: Mmh Mmh-Meet my peach baby, Blow on my dice! I wanna swing that swing, don't you treat me nice.
- Dean Stacy Koons: Richard let me...
- Dean Stacy Koons: [Keeps on singing] I'm wild for you.
- Dean Stacy Koons: Let me call you a cab.
- Richard Bates: [Still singing] Sweet Baby I'm a child for you.
- Dean Stacy Koons: Lets get you clothes.
- Felicia Koons: You know what, why don't stay in the guest room?
- Richard Bates: Stacy? Have you ever spent time with an eleven year old boy and wanted more from him than he was willing to give? Have you ever breathed in the scent of a woman's sweaty unwashed sex? And just
- [sniffs the air]
- Richard Bates: Mhh and wanted to bottle and sell at market. You ever been so drunk on cock? You Howled at the moon and begged for a few inches more.
- Hank Moody: Ladies? Dean Koons?
- Richard Bates: All these question and more will be answered... in my new novel. First! I wanna go for a swim! Urgh!
- [Runs through the dining room and jumps out the window]
- Richard Bates: Wooh!
- Hank Moody: Love that guy. Big fan.