Californication (TV Series)
The Apartment (2009)
David Duchovny: Hank Moody
Photos
Quotes
-
Rick Springfield : I will fuck you 'til your ass bleeds, cowboy!
Hank Moody : Thank God 'cause I don't think that's going to take very long.
-
Dean Stacy Koons : Hello, Hank.
Hank Moody : Good morning, Stacy.
Dean Stacy Koons : The front door was open.
Hank Moody : I can be, uh, very neighborly that way.
Dean Stacy Koons : You never called me Stacy before. I wonder why.
Hank Moody : I don't know. It kind of just rolled trippingly off the tongue this morning.
Dean Stacy Koons : Oh, something must be different. Ah, that's right. You fucked my wife.
-
Hank Moody : [answering phone] City Morgue: You kill 'em, we chill 'em!
-
Jill Robinson : Okay, I've been doing some thinking.
Hank Moody : Oh, you mean some overthinking!
Jill Robinson : You...
Hank Moody : Yes?
Jill Robinson : I accept you.
Hank Moody : What?
Jill Robinson : Haha, no, I accept you for who you are.
Hank Moody : Oh, you accept me. Thanks, I guess.
Jill Robinson : You're not listening, stupid!
Hank Moody : I'm listening!
Jill Robinson : I accept you for who you are! I don't wanna change you. I...
[Hank dodges Jill and prepares coffee]
Jill Robinson : I think we work well together, you know? Kid or no kid, snip or no snip, I wanna be with you. I think I spent years idolizing...
Hank Moody : Sure you don't want some coffee?
Jill Robinson : No. I think I was in love with the idea of love, you know?
Hank Moody : Tea?
Jill Robinson : No, thanks. I like what we have.
Hank Moody : Are ya hungry?
Jill Robinson : No. But now I know that I'm in love with you. I'm in love with *you*, Hank Moody.
Hank Moody : [laughs uncomfortably] Aw, Jill... this... it's... what... but...
Jill Robinson : No, don't "but" me. Don't "but" me now...
[takes off her coat to reveal naked body, Hank drops his mug and it shatters on the floor]
Hank Moody : Ho...
Jill Robinson : Yeah. Or I just might...
[turns around and shakes butt]
Jill Robinson : ... butt you back!
[someone knocks at the door]
Hank Moody : FUCK!
-
Dean Stacy Koons : [to Felicia] We're gonna be discussing this in therapy...
Hank Moody : That's an excellent idea! Therapize the fuck outta this shit!
Dean Stacy Koons : And you're coming with us, Hank.
Hank Moody : Uh, that's an awful idea.
-
Felicia Koons : That was some very intense and powerful lovemaking.
[Hank pulls back]
Felicia Koons : What's wrong?
Hank Moody : Not a big fan of that term, lovemaking, making love. I prefer boning, stuffing, shtupping, banging, porking, boffing, anything. Take your pick. Just not lovemaking.
Felicia Koons : So much for the afterglow.
-
Dean Stacy Koons : Are you in love with my wife, Hank?
Hank Moody : [pauses] That's a ridiculous question.
Dean Stacy Koons : Well, she seems to be in love with you. Do you feel the same?
Hank Moody : Feel the same...
Dean Stacy Koons : Do you love her?
[long uncomfortable pause, then Becca and Chelsea enter the apartment]
Hank Moody : [immediately shifts attention to them] What... do we have here?
Becca Moody : What are you doing home?
Hank Moody : Uh, wha... school clothes? Is it a snow day?
Chelsea Koons : What are you guys doing here?
Dean Stacy Koons : I believe that question should be directed at you, young lady.
Hank Moody : Copy that, motherfucker!
-
Hank Moody : [to Becca] There's no excuse for my behavior. There's no defense if somebody got hurt, especially you. But I need you to know that I started out with the best of intentions. I guess I just wanted them all to see it - the thing that makes them special. I guess that's all anybody wants is to be seen, to be recognized. Then the lines get blurry and the fact that your mom and I are in such a weird place... Yeah... it's a big stinkin' mess. But I am sorry if I let you down, sweetie. I don't know how much more I'm going to be able to say "I'm sorry" before it doesn't mean anything anymore.
