- Carl: It's the fact that you're famous made me a little...
- Kevin Lucas: Annoying?
- Carl: Yeah and...
- Kevin Lucas: ...obnoxious
- Carl: Sure but...
- Kevin Lucas: [reading a dictionary] "Troublesome, fastidious, irksome..."
- Nick Lucas: I think he gets it, Kevin
- Kevin Lucas: [closes dictionary angrily]
- Kevin Lucas: You read my e-mails?
- Carl: Just the ones you already opened.
- Nick Lucas: [to Kevin] I told you "kevinspassword" was a bad password.
- Kevin Lucas: You know, I do have an idea how we can make this right.
- Nick Lucas: Really? can you tell us your idea without using the words: chowder, monkey, pogo or time machine?
- Kevin Lucas: No.
- Tom Lucas: Last time I saw you, you were wearing your alien ninja costume! I didn't think you ever took that off!
- Carl: Got it on under the shirt, sir.
- Tom Lucas: Well, wear it proudly. You know, Joe still wears his dinosaur underwear.
- Joe: That was one time.
- [Looks embarrassed]
- Joe: Including today.
- Carl: [pointing to a bunch of letters] We gotta read all these?
- Nick Lucas: We're gonna answer all these.
- Kevin Lucas: [writing] Dear Sophie
- [pause as he writes]
- Kevin Lucas: Yes, we really are brothers.
- [pause]
- Kevin Lucas: and you are right, I am the cutest
- [everyone stares]
- Kevin Lucas: love, Kevin.
- Kevin Lucas: [throws letter to Carl] You can lick all the envelopes.
- Joe Lucas: One down, a whole lot to go!
- Kevin Lucas: You'd rather sort through the stuffed animals we get from our fans?
- Carl: It's gotta be better than this.
- Nick Lucas: Check it out, Kevin likes wooden creatures, I like things that swim and Joe likes things that make noise.
- Carl: What about this?
- [picks up a teddy bear with a snorkel that makes a funny noise]
- Joe Lucas: Stella, usually when a boy is mean to a girl, he's crushing on her.
- Stella Malone: Are you defending him?
- Joe Lucas: [looking scared] No ma'am.
- Joe Lucas: ...or that time at summer camp when that rabbit got into our tent and Kevin went out screaming
- [everyone laughs]
- Kevin Lucas: The shadow made it look like a bear.
- Nick Lucas: With big floppy ears?
- Kevin Lucas: That's what made it more scary.