- John Casey: Okay, credit charges. Mostly video games, comic books. Phone records indicate only one female call in the last year - sister.
- Chuck Bartowski: I feel so sorry for this guy. He seems so lonely.
- John Casey: Oh, whoops. That's your old file, Bartowski. Sorry about that.
- Jeff Barnes: [to Hannah] What are you doing Friday? You wanna hang in my van?
- Lester Patel: What about Thursday? And I'm disease free. I don't think Mr. Barnes here can say that.
- Jeff Barnes: That's low.
- Lester Patel: All's fair, kiddo.
- Chuck Bartowski: Why? What's in Dubai?
- John Casey: Weap-Con. Greatest weapon's convention in the world. I go every year. I find it *incredibly* relaxing.
- [Casey sighs]
- John Casey: Looks like I get to write it off as a business trip.
- John Casey: [Chuck has a laser pen] You aim carefully now, Bartowski. Don't you make me a eunich. Otherwise, I'll teach you the meaning of "eye for an eye."
- Manoosh: [to Chuck] I knew I could tell a fellow underachieving underappreciate man of intellect.
- John Casey: [In Chuck's earpiece] Great. Two geeks in a pod.
- Devon 'Captain Awesome' Woodcomb: Bro, that was so cold blooded! How could you just lie to her like that?
- Chuck Bartowski: Ellie and I aren't kids any more, all right? There's some things she's better off not knowing.
- Chuck Bartowski: What the...? Cassey, what is the deal? I specifically asked for the same pen that you got. She gave me the wrong pen!
- John Casey: Just like Bartowski. Bring a knife to a gun fight.
- Sarah Walker: He has to go underground. If the Ring finds him, then he can build them another Intersect. Do you want me to handle it?
- Chuck Bartowski: Yeah. Yeah, I would... But I have to do it.
- Manoosh: Chuck. You have to help me. I thought you were my friend.
- Chuck Bartowski: I'm not. I'm a spy.
- Morgan Grimes: Are you suggesting that Chuck is caught in a big, giant web of conspiracy and - and deception?
- Ellie Bartowski: I know. I know. When you put it like that, it sounds ridiculous.
- Morgan Grimes: Because I couldn't agree more! All right, I've been thinking about this for *months*. Finally, someone with some common sense.
- Ellie Bartowski: Morgan, we have to figure out what's going on.
- Morgan Grimes: Don't worry about it. I've got my *best* men on it.
- Sarah Walker: Chuck, you-you can't take this lightly. Developing an asset is very tricky business. You need to insinuate yourself into their life and have them trust you completely, knowing that one day you're probably going to have to burn them.
- Ellie Bartowski: [to Devon] You don't rock climb any more. You never work out. You just... lay around and watch TV all day. It's... like I'm married to Morgan.