Tales of Monkey Island: Chapter 3 - Lair of the Leviathan (2009 Video Game)
Dominic Armato: Guybrush Threepwood
Quotes
-
Guybrush Threepwood : How's the body treating you?
Murray : Remarkably well! It's only a matter of time before I gain control of my limbs.
[evil laugh]
Guybrush Threepwood : Oh boy, then we're in for it.
Murray : I shall rewrite your definition of misery!
Guybrush Threepwood : You're literate now too?
Murray : Not completely.
-
Guybrush Threepwood : Aren't you a bit like the tyrants you claim to hate?
Bugeye : I don't appreciate your inference, sweet roll. We do everything democratically down here. Noogie, Moose and Santino carry equal weight in every decision.
Guybrush Threepwood : How about your decision to be a jerk?
Bugeye : No, that one's all me.
-
Murray : [From a chest] Woe upon thee, foolish mortal! You have unleashed certain doom upon all your feeble fleshy kind, for the wrath of Murray shall be...
[Guybrush quickly closes the chest]
Murray : Very funny...
Guybrush Threepwood : [Guybrush reopens the chest] Hi Murray!
Murray : Threepwood! I suppose I should have expected this!
Guybrush Threepwood : Long time no see! How did you get trapped in here?
Murray : I'm not trapped!
Guybrush Threepwood : Okay, what were you doing before you chose to hang out in a treasure chest inside of a manatee?
Murray : Well, my legions of undead marines had brought an armada of Spanish clippers to their knees when a mighty tempest tossed our ship!
Guybrush Threepwood : I don't remember hearing about any battle with the Spanish armada.
Murray : Ha! As if we would allow a soul to live to tell the tale!
-
Bugeye : The last thing this manatee needs is his sense of direction restored. We don't need to be getting to any sacred mating grounds.
Guybrush Threepwood : Seriously. I've never seen manatees mate before, but I sure don't want to be inside one when I do.
-
Guybrush Threepwood : [to Murray inside his coat] Everything okay in there?
Murray : You've gotta get rid of this grub, I almost swallowed it!
Guybrush Threepwood : But you can't taste anything.
Murray : It's still disgusting!
-
Guybrush Threepwood : [Upon finding a book] "Modern Torture Made Easy". Yeah, I really hate to break a sweat while breaking the wills of my enemies.
[Looks inside]
Guybrush Threepwood : This book is full of gut-wrenching torture techniques. Really, there's a device called the "gut-wrencher".
-
Guybrush Threepwood : Mutineers of the crew of Coronado da Cava, I would like to establish, for the record, that the four of you were just man-handled by a woman. So in essence, you've been woman-handled. Which, I imagine, was not near as pleasant as it sounds.
-
Guybrush Threepwood : You don't have some cockamamie plan for taking care of the Leviathan?
Coronado De Cava : Nothing. I originally spent three months fabricating a giant manatee suitor to be piloted by a crew of fifteen men, all well learned in the ways of bestial romance, but sadly, they were lost during a trial run. Mashed like peas.
Guybrush Threepwood : Yeesh!
-
Murray : Wait until we chew through your ropes of oppression and topple your puppet regime!
Guybrush Threepwood : Wow, Murray, you've gone political.
Murray : I just learned all those words.
-
Guybrush Threepwood : [Looking at a backscratcher in the form of a chicken foot] I hope this is what I think it is and not what I hope it isn't.
-
Guybrush Threepwood : [while controlling the body of the Voodoo Lady] Marquis, you will bring me the book of the manatee language, or I'll give you an education on voodoo from the business end of a curse!
-
Guybrush Threepwood : [after De Cava and his crew turn on Guybrush] Where's Noogie?
Bugeye : Noogie had a hard time re-adjusting to crew-life. He wasn't ready to give up on democracy.
Guybrush Threepwood : So he founded his own political party and sailed away peacefully?
Bugeye : Sure. He... went to a quiet farm upstate.
-
Guybrush Threepwood : You actually like these guys?
Murray : "Like"? I like no one. But I *love* the Brotherhood! What I have here is a group of men I can mold in my own image. Their fates are tied to mine - and my fate leads to the highest throne of Hell!
-
Guybrush Threepwood : [Inside the giant manatee] I'm going to find a way out of here. Preferably through the front door. Not the... ahem... service entrance.
-
Reginald Van Winslow : I'll keep an eye on Miss LeFlay. If she stirs, I'll give her the old scurby buttons!
Guybrush Threepwood : I don't wanna know what that is.
-
Morgan LeFlay : Here's the plan: you charge Johnny Cirrhosis over there, and I'll jump the leader and eviscerate his vitals. The square playing the bongos shouldn't be a problem for either of us. Whoever gets to him first scores the kill. Personally, I'll be going for his throat, he looks like a biter.
Guybrush Threepwood : I don't think that's a good idea.
Morgan LeFlay : You're right! I'll keep my distance and shoot for an artery.
-
Guybrush Threepwood : I've been doing some thinking, and I'd like to join the Democratically United Brotherhood of the Manatee Interior.
Bugeye : Is that so?
Guybrush Threepwood : Yep! Although I'm applying to the Oligarical Society of the Alpaca Farm as a safety.
-
Guybrush Threepwood : Hey Murrah, can I interest you in this torture manual?
Murray : Haha, I wrote the book on torture! For instance, taunting a man with his greatest desire is a good form of psychological warfare. As is a good Indian rub.
Guybrush Threepwood : How so?
Murray : Do you yearn to reap the incredible benefits of membership of the Brotherhood?
Guybrush Threepwood : Sure, that'd be okay.
Murray : Well, I'll never let you in! Ever! Does it scorch your insides, Threepwood? Does it fill you with painful sadness? And gas?
Guybrush Threepwood : Er, something does, but I think I swallowed some bile earlier.
-
Morgan LeFlay : [after exiting the giant manatee] Yuck!
Guybrush Threepwood : That could've been worse.
Morgan LeFlay : [Sarcastic] Really?
Guybrush Threepwood : Just a quick trip up the blow hole.
Morgan LeFlay : Manatees don't have blow holes.
Guybrush Threepwood : What? Then... Oh, yeah, yuck!
-
Guybrush Threepwood : [Out of breath] Horrible... teeth... gnashing... ferocious... leviathan!
Coronado De Cava : I neglected to mention the guardian of La Esponja.
Morgan LeFlay : What was it? A giant squid? They've been known to hunt and swallow entire corsairs!
Guybrush Threepwood : No!
Morgan LeFlay : [Gasps] Megalodon? Devil whale?
Guybrush Threepwood : Worse!
Morgan LeFlay : What then?
Guybrush Threepwood : Female... giant... manatee!
Coronado De Cava : The monster must be tamed, Cheapwhistle.
Guybrush Threepwood : With what, a rolled up newspaper?
Coronado De Cava : Taming the female is no easy task. Their fickle minds are the greatest of all riddles! Complex, confounding... beautiful.
Guybrush Threepwood : Are we still talking about manatees?
-
Guybrush Threepwood : Comfy?
Noogie : You're a betrayer!... But do you think Morgan is still into me?
Guybrush Threepwood : Oh yeah, definitely. See how you still have all your limbs? That means she cares.