"Community" Introduction to Statistics (TV Episode 2009) Poster

(TV Series)

(2009)

Joel McHale: Jeff Winger

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Ken Jeong, Joel McHale, and Gillian Jacobs in Community (2009) Joel McHale, Gillian Jacobs, and Danny Pudi in Community (2009) Joel McHale and Gillian Jacobs in Community (2009) Joel McHale and Lauren Stamile in Community (2009) Chevy Chase and Joel McHale in Community (2009) Joel McHale and Lauren Stamile in Community (2009) Joel McHale and Lauren Stamile in Community (2009) Joel McHale, Jim Rash, Lauren Stamile, and Gillian Jacobs in Community (2009) Joel McHale and Lauren Stamile in Community (2009) Joel McHale and Lauren Stamile in Community (2009) Joel McHale, Yvette Nicole Brown, Alison Brie, Gillian Jacobs, Danny Pudi, and Donald Glover in Community (2009) Joel McHale, Lauren Stamile, Gillian Jacobs, and Donald Glover in Community (2009) Chevy Chase and Joel McHale in Community (2009) Ken Jeong and Joel McHale in Community (2009) Joel McHale and Gillian Jacobs in Community (2009) Ken Jeong and Joel McHale in Community (2009) Ken Jeong and Joel McHale in Community (2009) Ken Jeong, Joel McHale, and Gillian Jacobs in Community (2009) Joel McHale and Lauren Stamile in Community (2009) Joel McHale and Donald Glover in Community (2009) Joel McHale and Lauren Stamile in Community (2009) Joel McHale, Lauren Stamile, and Donald Glover in Community (2009) Joel McHale in Community (2009) 17 more photos

Quotes 

  • Jeff Winger : Batman?

    Abed : Yeah.

    Jeff Winger : Are you staying for the party?

    Abed : If I stay there can be no party. I must be out there in the night, staying vigilant. Where ever a party needs to be saved, I'm there. Where ever there are masks or if there's tom foolery in joy, I'm there. But sometimes I'm not because I'm out there in the night staying vigilant, watching, lurking, running, jumping, hurdling, sleeping. No I can't sleep. You sleep, I'm awake. I don't sleep. I don't blink. Am I a bird? No, I'm a bat. I am Batman. Or am I? Yes, I am Batman.

    [Applies Chapstick] 

    Abed : Happy Halloween.

  • Britta : You're not going to Annie's party?

    Jeff Winger : I have a conflict. It conflicts with the enjoyment of my life.

  • Pierce Hawthorne : Those floating Mexican skeletons were right. My life is over.

    Jeff Winger : Well, when we go to floating skeletons with our problems, we get what we pay for, don't we?

  • Britta : Whoa. Yippy-ky-ye. I thought you weren't a costume guy?

    Jeff Winger : You had to have one to get in here, Squirrel.

    Britta : Oh, so where did you get it? 'Cause I wouldn't think any costume stores would be open this late.

    Jeff Winger : Well I... I don't know what you're getting at...

    Britta : I think the words you're looking for are, "I own a cowboy outfit," and it is tight, too. Did you buy it like that? Your toy gun to my head, I'd say yes.

    Professor Michelle Slater : Hi, Michelle Slater, PhD.

    Britta : Britta Perry, GED.

  • Jeff Winger : It's this campus. It feeds on my coolness. I got no moves anymore!

    Senor Chang : Moves? Everything's a game to guys like you. I know one move I bet you've never tried in your life.

    Jeff Winger : What is it?

    [Chang whispers something in his ear] 

    Jeff Winger : [strolls over to Professor Slater, sits down and stares into her eyes]  Please sleep with me. Please. Pretty please. I'm so lonely. I haven't slept with anyone in a very long time, and you are so good looking. Please do me the favor of having sex with me.

  • Senor Chang : [about Professor Slater]  Is there a breeze here? Because someone struck out!

    Jeff Winger : She blew you off too, Chang.

    Senor Chang : Is that what you have to fall back on? Look at me, bro. Look at me. I've got the body of a fifth grader. If I was working with what you've got, she'd be at the Comfort Inn right now giving me a Mexican Halloween.

  • Troy : Jeff! Jeff! Jeff! Pierce is freaking out. You're the only one that can help!

    Jeff Winger : What makes you think that?

    Pierce Hawthorne : Is Jeff out there? He's the only one who can help!

  • [Annie starts sobbing] 

    Jeff Winger : This won't work. The last time you did this, I saved a vial of your tears, and I've been building up an immunity.

  • Jeff Winger : More importantly, you're dressed like a gladiator in a desk fort that you built during a bad trip. If life is just a series of ridiculous attempts to be alive... you're a hero to everything that's ever lived.

  • Jeff Winger : Are you trying to get formidable with me?

    Annie : It worked on Pierce!

    Jeff Winger : Infomercials work on Pierce.

  • Professor Michelle Slater : [to Britta]  Oh, are you a classmate of Jeff's?

    Jeff Winger : Well, when you say 'classmate', it sounds like we take naps together and eat paste, but what's great about community college is that a lot of the students are just as mature as the teachers.

    [Abed arrives in a Batman costume] 

  • Jeff Winger : Pierce, stop grinding on the Women's Studies department. You are too old to be tripping.

    Pierce Hawthorne : I'm old?

    [Puts hands on Jeff's shoulders, then stares at them] 

    Pierce Hawthorne : Whose hands are these?

  • Britta : Nice of you to be here. I'm sure you'd rather be out with your hot professor.

    Jeff Winger : Well, it's funny. I enrolled here as a selfish loner, but you and the group have given me a crash course in friendship.

    Britta : She blew you off, huh?

    Jeff Winger : She's grading papers.

    Senor Chang : Professor Slater? She's not grading papers. She's at the faculty party in the cafeteria.

    Jeff Winger : Oh, look, it's the eavesdropping matador.

    Senor Chang : Are you saying my people are sneaky?

  • Professor Michelle Slater : That's cute. A little aggressive. But as a busy, confident woman of authority I'm attracted to men who take charge.

    Jeff Winger : You being sarcastic or am I nailing it?

    Professor Michelle Slater : You were nailing it until you had to ask.

    Jeff Winger : Oh, damn it. Starting over. Hey, you in the skirt, date me.

    Professor Michelle Slater : I'd like to, Mr. Winger. You're tall, dress nice. I've graded enough of your tests to know I'd never feel mentally inadequate.

  • Jeff Winger : Bernoulli's my favorite. Little know fact: statistics were not his only love, he's also famous for his French sauce used on meat and poultry.

    Professor Michelle Slater : That's bearnaise.

    Jeff Winger : Oh, we may need to settle this at a restaurant.

  • Jeff Winger : [to Pierce]  If life is just a series of ridiculous attempts to be alive, you're a hero to everything that's ever lived.

  • Pierce Hawthorne : What are you going as? A gay douchebag? Just kidding.

    Jeff Winger : Nice one. I'm not much of a costume guy.

    Pierce Hawthorne : I know, you're not much of a liking the ladies guy either, huh? Oop. Body blow. Is that liquor?

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


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