Photos
Quotes
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Sterling Archer : I mean, if this goes tits up...
[Archer stares at Lana's jiggling cleavage while she fires an AK-47 on full automatic]
Lana Kane : Now? Really?
Sterling Archer : Oh, right! Because you walked into Strippers' Discount Warehouse and said, "Help me showcase my intellect".
Lana Kane : Discount? Hello? This is Fiacci!
Sterling Archer : Uh, I think it's pronounced "knock-off".
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Sterling Archer : So when you filled out your insurance, you weren't thinking about my tan, muscular arms, or my ass in the combat firing stance.
Lana Kane : No! I wasn't. I don't. I mean, I'm...
Sterling Archer : So full of shit your eyes are brown.
[a grenade is thrown onto the bridge of the yacht where Archer and Lana have taken cover. They both reach for the grenade, their hands touch, and they gaze into each other's eyes]
Sterling Archer : No, they're...
[Archer tosses the grenade away]
Sterling Archer : Oh, my God... they're green.
[the grenade explodes]
Sterling Archer : Like emeralds. How did I never see that? Lana, your eyes are amazing.
Lana Kane : Archer.
[They close in to kiss]
Sterling Archer : I mean, not compared to your tits, but...
[Lana shoots Archer in the foot]
Sterling Archer : Ow! Ow! What is your problem!
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Sterling Archer : [Steals the uniform of a crewmember prisoner] How's my disguise?
Lana Kane : Depends. Who're you supposed to be, Topper Bottoms, stern yet sensual skipper of the USS Rough Service?
[Prisoner laughs at Archer]
Sterling Archer : What - they're you're clothes, idiot!
[He shoots the prisoner]
Lana Kane : Ah, dammit, that was the guy in charge of the chocolate fountain.
Sterling Archer : There's a chocolate fountain?
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Woodhouse : "I'm afraid the lemur got into the pudding cups."
Sterling Archer : "Like I told you he would!"
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Sterling Archer : So I get to go to the French Riviera on the ISIS dime. To do what exactly?
Malory Archer : Locate a stolen shipment of Red Eye missiles and kill the arms dealer trying to sell them, Spirodon Skorpio.
[Video screen behind Malory displays a picture of an overweight, hirsute man in a bathing suit]
Sterling Archer : Whoa! What, is diabetes busy?
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Cyril Figgis : But why hasn't she called? I mean, what if she's in danger, or...?
Sterling Archer : Cyril, come on! Worst case scenario, her cover got blown and Skorpio's raping her senseless before he chops her battered corpse into fish food.
Cheryl : How could you say that?
Sterling Archer : What? I said worst case!
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Sterling Archer : Commence operation something about I rescue Lana and she begs me to take her back, so then Cyril commits suicide... Swear to god I had something for this.
