- Morgan Grimes: You're going to fire me, aren't you? My God, this is even worse than when I got canned from Underpants Etc.
- John Casey: Relax, you passed.
- Morgan Grimes: I failed every test.
- John Casey: Yeah, with flying colors. You have got to be hands down, bar none, the worst candidate I've ever trained. But you got one thing going for you. You got balls.
- Morgan Grimes: I do?
- John Casey: How many Marines you know would go up against a Bengal tiger unarmed?
- Morgan Grimes: Yeah.
- John Casey: You have to be a complete idiot.
- John Casey: All right, there are three qualities that make for an effective field agent: Subversion.
- Morgan Grimes: Me.
- John Casey: Stealth.
- Morgan Grimes: Me.
- John Casey: Strength.
- [Morgan groans]
- Chuck Bartowski: Good morning, buddy.
- Morgan Grimes: Okay, I get it. You're having tons and tons of sex. Congratulations, Warren Beatty.
- Chuck Bartowski: Who said anything about -?
- Morgan Grimes: Big goofy grin said it. Okay? And you know, it's kind of an insult for those of us living in the apartment who *aren't* having sex - which is me.
- Sarah Walker: I'm sorry that I freaked out when you asked me to move in with you. It's just, you know how I grew up. I spent my life living in hotel rooms under fake names. I've been trained to survive a thousand different situations in the field. But nobody ever taught me how to live a normal life.
- Chuck Bartowski: Well, I hate to break it to you, but I don't think we're ever going to live a normal life.
- Sarah Walker: Well, I'd like to have something to fall back on when my spy life is over.
- Laura Turner: What my husband means to say is we're retiring.
- General Beckman: But you just can't walk away. You are the best of the best! Who will possibly take your place?
- Chuck Bartowski: [Craig and Laura look at Chuck and Sarah] You... are sure? Really? I mean, thank you.
- Laura Turner: [to Chuck and Sarah] Watch each others backs, you two.
- Craig Turner: I wish you many happy marriages.
- Sarah Walker: A good agent should never be without a back up weapon.
- Chuck Bartowski: Well, have you heard of the Bartowski rule? No firearms in my apartment.
- Sarah Walker: Not if you want to live with a spy.
- Sarah Walker: I thought the two of you were married.
- Craig Turner: Remarried. 3 times. Some women are too special to marry just once.
- Chuck Bartowski: Ok, ok, the Turners aren't perfect, I'm willing to modify my opinion.
- Sarah Walker: She's a drunk. He's a philanderer. As a team, they're a total mess.
- Chuck Bartowski: Well, come on, they're not completely without their charms. I mean, there could be worse people we could turn into.
- Sarah Walker: I would rather be eaten alive by a tiger. Speaking of, I'm done waiting for Otto to find us. Let's get the software and get out of here.
- Craig Turner: You really - we're... that bad?
- Chuck Bartowski: Only because you were once great, yeah.
- Laura Turner: We were great. Remember?
- Craig Turner: Check back with me in 30 years, Charles. The CIA has a way of breaking young idealists, especially if they're in love.
- Morgan Grimes: Listen to me. Listen to me. Just hear me out. This country needs men like you, Casey. Okay? What do I do? I sell refridgerators, you know? I mean, if I die, what? They'll shop at Large Mart. Big deal. But there is a way I can serve my country.
- John Casey: What are you doing?
- Morgan Grimes: I'm going to lure that tiger into Ellie and Awesome's apartment.
- John Casey: You're not!
- Morgan Grimes: Yes, I am! And listen to me. No matter what you hear in there, promise me you will not go in after me. SEMPER FI-dizzle!
- Chuck Bartowski: Oh, yeah. How is that field training with Morgan going?
- John Casey: Put it this way, he makes you look like a natural born operative.
- Chuck Bartowski: If you can't make Morgan Grimes field ready, I'm sending you *both* to boot camp at Camp Pendleton! That is all!
- Sarah Walker: They picked up the wrong couple to stab in the back!
- [Cocks her weapon]
- Sarah Walker: This is how I deal with stress.