Doctor Who (TV Series)

The Lodger (2010)

Matt Smith: The Doctor

Photos 

Quotes 

• The Doctor : I'm the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor; I don't know why. I call me the Doctor, too. I still don't know why.

• Sean : You are so on the team! Next week we've got the Crown & Anchor. We're going to annihilate them!

  The Doctor : [gets in Sean's face]  Annihilate? No! No violence, do you understand me? Not while I'm around, not today, not ever. I'm the Doctor. The Oncoming Storm... and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn't you?

  Sean : Yeah.

  The Doctor : Lovely. What sort of time?

• The Doctor : Less of a young professional - more of an ancient amateur. But frankly, I'm an absolute dream.

• Craig Owens : Listen, Mike and I had an arrangement where if you ever need me out of your hair, just give me a shout.

  [winks] 

  Craig Owens : Okay?.

  The Doctor : [winks back]  Why would I want that?

  Craig Owens : Well, in case you want to bring someone round, a girlfriend or a...

  [looks at the Doctor up and down] 

  Craig Owens : boyfriend...

  The Doctor : Oh, I will. I'll shout... if that happens. Something like... I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS!

• Craig Owens : Has anyone ever told you that you're a bit weird?

  The Doctor : They never really stop.

• Craig Owens : Will it work?

  The Doctor : Yes.

  Craig Owens : Are you sure?

  The Doctor : Yes!

  Craig Owens : Is that a lie?

  The Doctor : Of course it's a lie!

  Craig Owens : It's good enough for me. Geronimo!

• The Doctor : Six billion people? Watching you two work, I'm starting to wonder where they all come from.

• The Doctor : Ah you want to see my credentials...

  [shows psychic paper] 

  The Doctor : There, national insurance number.

  [passes psychic paper behind his back] 

  The Doctor : NHS number.

  [passes psychic paper behind his back again] 

  The Doctor : References.

  Craig Owens : [incredulous]  Is that a reference from the Archbishop of Canterbury?

  The Doctor : I'm his special favourite. Shhh.

• Craig Owens : Where did you learn to cook?

  The Doctor : Paris, in the... 18th century.

  [Craig stares at him incredulously] 

  The Doctor : No, hang on, that's not recent, is it? 17th. No, no, no, no. 20th. Sorry, I'm not used to doing them in the right order.

• The Doctor : [to Amy on earpiece]  To anyone else hearing this conversation, we're talking absolute gibberish.

  The Doctor : [Craig hearing through the wall with the same inflection]  Practical eruption in chicken, Descartes Lombardy spiral.

• [hands his new landlord a paper bag full of money] 

  The Doctor : Yes, quite right, have some rent. That's probably quite a lot, isn't it? Looks like a lot. Is it a lot? I can never tell.

• The Doctor : No, I'll fix it, I'm good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I'm the Doctor, don't call me the Rotmeister.

• The Doctor : Don't spend it all on sweets. Unless you like sweets. I like sweets.

• Craig Owens : [opening door, believing it to be Sophie]  I love you!

  The Doctor : Well, that's good, because I'm your new lodger.

  [Craig stares at him in shock] 

  The Doctor : D'you know, this is going to be easier than I expected.

• Amy Pond : Football. Okay, well done, that is normal. Yeah, football, all outdoorsy.

  The Doctor : Now, football's the one with the sticks, isn't it?

• The Doctor : 6,000,400,026 people in the world. That's the number to beat.

• The Doctor : Hello, I'm Captain Troy Handsome of International Rescue, please state the nature of your emergency.

• [the Doctor is desperately trying to persuade Craig to do something that's been fatal for everyone else so far] 

  Craig Owens : Will it work?

  The Doctor : Yes!

  Craig Owens : Are you sure?

  The Doctor : Yes!

  Craig Owens : Is that a lie?

  The Doctor : Of course it's a lie!

  Craig Owens : That's good enough for me!

  [Does as the Doctor says]