- Colleen Donaghy: Oh, my God. My arm! It's numb!
- Jack Donaghy: What are you doing now, Mother?
- Colleen Donaghy: I think the stress...
- Jack Donaghy: Don't go to her!
- Avery Jessup: Do you have shortness of breath? Are you sweating? Do you have neck or jaw pain? I've had a couple rich men die on top of me.
- Colleen Donaghy: It's like something like my son sitting on my chest.
- Milton Greene: We should call an ambulance.
- Jack Donaghy: We are not calling anyone!
- Milton Greene: What's the matter with you? Your mother is not well!
- Jack Donaghy: Can't you see that she's faking, Milton!
- [Colleen winks]
- Jack Donaghy: There! Did anybody see that?
- Milton Greene: We have to call an ambulance. Listen to me, damn it, I'm a doctor!
- Jack Donaghy: Of history! In what emergency would you be necessary? If someone wanted to know whether the '60s were awesome or not?
- Milton Greene: They were!
- Milton Greene: You kept me from my son for 50 years!
- Colleen Donaghy: You didn't miss much.
- Milton Greene: He's a good boy. He got me a kidney! From Elvis Costello! All that time lost because of you and your pride. And think of what I've lost. Going on father-and-son Habitat for Humanity builds and road trips in my VW van!
- Jack Donaghy: Yeah! Or other things!
- Jack Donaghy: Avery and I are having a baby.
- Colleen Donaghy: I see.
- Jack Donaghy: May I remind you this is good news?
- Colleen Donaghy: This is a disgrace! What are my chums at the Death Shore Retirement Community going to say? When I tell them that my unmarried son has knocked up a Protestant?
- Milton Greene: By the way, we have a tradition in my family where we let the child name itself.
- Avery Jessup: [backs away] Oh, yeah. That's hippie nonsense.
- Jack Donaghy: Absolutely not.
- Milton Greene: Well, suit yourself, but my son Spider-Man turned out just fine.
- Liz Lemon: Who hasn't made mistakes? I once French kissed a dog at a party to try to impress what turned out to be a very tall 12-year-old.