- Dr. Larry Meyers: [slips on the stage] Ah! Ah! I am shattered to pieces! Ah! Ooh!
- Dee Reynolds: Are- are you acting right now?
- Dr. Larry Meyers: No, I'm not acting, you bitch!
- Charlie Kelly: Hey, look, I'll swallow that eraser whole just to prove to you...
- Principal MacIntyre: Oh, no, please.
- Charlie Kelly: I'll swallow it whole!
- Principal MacIntyre: No, no, no, you don't have to do that. But I have to say I don't think I've ever encountered someone who's so passionate about joining our custodial staff.
- Charlie Kelly: The passion I have for the work that I do is extraordinary. It probably goes beyond janitor. And I'm serious, I'll eat that eraser whole.
- Principal MacIntyre: Oh, no. It's not- you don't need to eat the eraser to prove your point. Uh, you have the job.
- Charlie Kelly: Are you serious?
- Principal MacIntyre: I love your attitude. It's fantastic.
- Charlie Kelly: Sir, I am not gonna let you down. I mean, I am gonna start cleaning immediately, immediately! Uh, but first, can I eat the eraser?
- Principal MacIntyre: Are... you're saying you want to eat the eraser?
- Frank Reynolds: [Hanging out the window of the Range Rover, driving away] "Tell people we pushed you!" -Frank to Schmitty