- Ron Swanson: [On the verge of tears] Leslie has a lot of qualities I find horrifying, but the worst one by far is how thoughtful she can be.
- Lindsay Carlisle Shay: Sweetie, and I mean this in the nicest possible way, Pawnee is and always will be a dirty little nightmare from which you will never wake up. It was good seeing you.
- Leslie Knope: [to camera] What? I'm not asleep, I'm awake! I'm wide awake, and I got my eyes on you! That's what I would have said if I had thought of it in the moment. What did I say instead?
- Lindsay Carlisle Shay: You look like you've been working really hard. You have a lot of fly-aways. Would you like to borrow a mirror, or a self-help book?
- Donna Meagle: Eagleton is a bunch of rich snobs, and that's coming from someone who has a Mercedes with a Harman Kardon Logic 7 Surround Sound System.