Community (TV Series)

Intro to Political Science (2011)

Donald Glover: Troy Barnes

Photos 

Quotes 

• Troy Barnes : Hey, guys! The final debate!

  Jeff Winger : Yeah, about that. I'm out.

  Annie Edison : Me too. I decided that someone who would do that to a friend doesn't deserve to be president.

  Troy Barnes : Uh, yeah. I know that. You're missing the final debate! It's the biggest political showdown of all time!

  [We see the final debate] 

  Magnitude : Pop pop!

  [Leonard blows a raspberry] 

  Magnitude : Pop pop!

  [Leonard blows a raspberry] 

  Magnitude : Pop pop!

  [Leonard blows a raspberry] 

  Magnitude : Pop pop!

• Troy Barnes : This election's become a real horse race. According to our polls, the campus is almost evenly divided. Now, keep in mind the margin of error is about 98 percent.

  Abed Nadir : Could be higher. We don't even know how to do margins of error. We talked to two people at a vending machine.

  Troy Barnes : Well, I'm being told we're taking a quick break, but stay tuned.

  Abed Nadir : They have to stay tuned. It's closed-circuit television.

  Troy Barnes : Don't know what that means.

  Man : And we're out.

  Troy Barnes : [snaps fingers twice]  Can I get an apple juice, please? Freshly squeezed this time, or so help me God, Maurice.

• Abed Nadir : I'm Abed Nadir saying: Did you know you could make napalm out of common dish soap and cat food?

  Troy Barnes : What? Why would you say that?

  Abed Nadir : Hmm?

  [cut to Biden's motorcade, siren wails] 

  Agent Robin Vohlers : [cell phone rings]  Vohlers. Hmm, yeah.

  [to Biden] 

  Agent Robin Vohlers : I'm sorry sir, we're gonna have to move on to city college. Apparently there's an elevated threat level at Greendale. But don't worry. I'll check it out... personally.

  Joe Biden : Whatever. I just had a dream that I was a regular president.

• Pierce Hawthorne : So, I... I... I go into the bathroom with Tom, and uh... and we both, you know, take 'em out. And I say, "Size more? Try size less."

  [cackling] 

  Pierce Hawthorne : Ha-ha-ha.

  Jeff Winger : [incredulously under his breath]  Wow.

  Troy Barnes : [disheartened]  Wow. I wanna go to rehab and compare penises with famous people.

  Pierce Hawthorne : All in good time, kiddo.

• Britta Perry : Democracy, what a ruse. There's no such thing as a system in which the masses hold any kind of...

  Jeff Winger : [interrupting]  Everyone wants you to shut up!

  Britta Perry : And yet I won't. Case in point.

  Troy Barnes : No...

  [chuckles and carves 36th tick mark under Notches on the table's box apron]