Community (TV Series)
Accounting for Lawyers (2010)
Rob Corddry: Alan Connor
Photos
Quotes
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Alan Connor : What brings you to Greendale?
Jeff Winger : I'm a teacher. Wait, that's worse than the truth. I'm a student.
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Alan Connor : If they gave away awards for mind games, the statue would be Jeff Winger doing it to a brain.
Pierce Hawthorne : Come on, Jeff's bush league. I gave seminars on manipulation. I can reach into a man's soul and unravel it with one tug.
Alan Connor : Cool. Hit me.
Pierce Hawthorne : You're bald.
Alan Connor : So are you.
Pierce Hawthorne : I'll kill you, you...!
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Jeff Winger : All right, let's do it.
Abed Nadir : Jeff can't go. He has class.
Alan Connor : Well, those cargo pants would suggest otherwise. Heh, heh. What has this place done to you?
Jeff Winger : You have no idea.
Buzz : [Puts a hat on Jeff] Hat club!
[and runs off]
Jeff Winger : Now you have some idea.
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Alan Connor : You should visit the office.
Jeff Winger : Right. I can't show my face there after getting busted like that.
Alan Connor : Jeff, you know what lawyers call someone who defrauds the state bar, cheats on his LSATs and cons his way into a firm? Best lawyer ever.
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Alan Connor : I don't know how you did it, man, but you're looking at the firm's next partner. If I wasn't actively repressing my bi-curiosity, id kiss you on your beautiful mouth.