Nostalgia Critic (TV Series)

The 100th Episode: Battlefield Earth (2010)

Noah Antwiler: Terl

Photos 

Quotes 

• Nostalgia Critic : [the humans harvest gold from Ft. Knox]  They're not. They're honestly not. Son of a bitch! TERL!

  Terl : Oh, it's you again.

  Nostalgia Critic : How can you idiots not know about Fort fucking Knox? What, you never checked to see if we harvested gold too?

  Terl : Listen, you're probably figuring out by now that we Psychlos are not very smart. In fact, the only reason we've ever been able to take over any galaxy at all is that we fart nuclear bombs out of our anuses.

  Nostalgia Critic : Oh. So, none of this has to do with any strategic planning or superior intellect?

  Terl : Nope. It's just farting bombs. Ha ha ha ha!

  Nostalgia Critic : You must be a very proud race.

• Terl : Just you wait, Critic, for soon we will conquer your primitive species just like we have for centuries...

  [explosion] 

  Terl : Uh oh.

  Nostalgia Critic : What's wrong?

  Terl : Oh it looks like someone lit a cigarette on our home planet and now the whole damn thing is going to explode.

  Nostalgia Critic : Oh. Gee, I'm sorry. Well is... there anything I can do?

  Terl : No, no, it's cool. Just let me work on my dying words.

  [clears throat] 

  Terl : Oh...

  [planet explodes] 

  Nostalgia Critic : You know, I'm not going to miss him.

• Nostalgia Critic : Terl, why would you educate these guys who clearly want to kill you and then only watch them by taking a still picture every couple of hours?

  Terl : Ha, a puny man-animal such as yourself couldn't possibly understand. We are far technologically superior. We have conquered dozens of species and hundreds of galaxies. Or is it the other way around?

  Nostalgia Critic : You couldn't conquer Rogue Island. You're completely useless.

  Terl : Okay, just because we've given them every need to take us over doesn't mean that they will take us over. We figured humans are raised by the honor system.

  Nostalgia Critic : But you don't even work on the honor system.

  Terl : I know, and that's why we always win!

  Nostalgia Critic : Aw, go away. It's like talking to a horse's vagina.

  Terl : Ha! While you were still learning how to SPELL your name!

• Terl : Now if you'll excuse me, I have a play to rehearse for tomorrow evening. To be or not to BEEE!