"Nostalgia Critic" The Good Son (TV Episode 2009) - Doug Walker as Nostalgia Critic

Henry : Hey, Mark. Don't fuck with me.

Nostalgia Critic : [written on cue cards:] The Home Alone kid just said "don't fuck with me."

Henry : Don't fuck with me.

Nostalgia Critic : [written on cue cards:] I can actually feel my childhood dying.
Nostalgia Critic : [the only time he uses his voice; in a loud, very hoarse whisper] ASS!
Nostalgia Critic : [Henry smokes a cigarette; written on cue cards:] So? Drew Barrymore was on that stuff at half your age!
Henry : I want to tuck in my kid sister.

Nostalgia Critic : [through on screen text] Just like how Michael Jackson showed me.

[audience boos]
Nostalgia Critic : [through on screen text] I love how a friggin' child psychologist can't tell that a kid talking like a damn robot is lying!
Nostalgia Critic : [Subtitled as Henry starts running away] Culkin then runs away as it suddenly turns into the opening of The Fugitive.

Henry's Mom : Henry. Henry, no. Henry!

Tommy Lee Jones : Ladies and gentlemen! Our fugitive has been on the run for 90 minutes.

[cuts to Henry running through the woods]

Tommy Lee Jones : What I want out of each and every one of you is a hard target search

[cuts to Henry running]

Tommy Lee Jones : of every gas station,

[cuts to Henry running]

Tommy Lee Jones : residence,

[cuts to Henry running]

Tommy Lee Jones : warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse

[cuts to Henry running]

Tommy Lee Jones : and doghouse in that area!

Doug Walker: Nostalgia Critic