The Decoy Bride (2011)

Kelly Macdonald: Katie

Photos 

Quotes 

• James Arber : You don't live here?

  Katie Nic Aoidh : Not in this toilet, no. Here we live in primitive dwellings anthropologists like to call "houses."

• Katie Nic Aoidh : And you're back of Hegg now because...?

  James Arber : Oh, I'm on a sheep-stealing raid, yeah. I mean, I thought I might grab myself a woman at the same time, but predominantly it's a sheep-snatching thing.

• Katie Nic Aoidh : A guidebook to here? Don't be mad. "Come see our disused toilet that may or may not be haunted by the ghost of a drowned cow."

• Katie Nic Aoidh : Good. I don't want to meet him. He sounds like a twat. Anyway, I'm like Kryptonite to men. Kryptonite dipped in cellulite.

• Katie Nic Aoidh : What's this nameless new book of yours about, then... if it exists?

  James Arber : It's about the end of the world as seen through the eyes of God.

  Katie Nic Aoidh : Oh, dear. Did no one tell you to write about what you know?

• Katie Nic Aoidh : This is where you tell me I'm just one chapter, not a whole book.

• Katie Nic Aoidh : Nobody's going to buy a guidebook to Hegg unless it's cheaper than our toilet paper.

• Katie Nic Aoidh : How do you know when you've met *the one*?

  James Arber : Whenever you look at them, you find yourself singing "Wind Beneath My Wings".

• Iseabail Nic Aoidh : Do you like him?

  Katie Nic Aoidh : He's an emotionally retarded arty boy who's in love with another woman. Of course I like him.

• Katie Nic Aoidh : It's cruel to give the servants names, isn't it? Don't want to get too attached to them.

• Katie Nic Aoidh : For someone in marketing you're not very good at lying.

  James Arber : I'm still quite junior.

• Katie Nic Aoidh : She is not putting toilet cleaner in my hair.

  Steve Korbitz : Don't be a diva.

• Katie Nic Aoidh : But I don't look anything like Lara Tyler.

  Steve Korbitz : That's true, but neither does she until these ladies get their hands on her.