Zombie Driftwood (2010) User Reviews

I am the first person not involved with this film to comment

[grandcamero · 1/10 · 18 March 2011]

I am a huge zombie film fan and I have to say this one is unwatchable. It is not funny, scary, clever or even so bad it's good. This is just low rent garbage with nothing to offer at all.

If you want a funny zombie film go watch: Shaun of the Dead, Army of darkness , Evil Dead 1&2, Dellamorte Dellamore, Zombieland ,Dead Snow, Black Sheep, Slither, Fido, Doghouse or Braindead/Dead Alive.

If camp is not your thing and you want a scary or interesting film go watch: Dawn Of The Dead 2004 UNRATED, Dawn of the dead (1978),28 Weeks Later, The Dead Outside, Shock Waves, Outpost, Mulberry Street, Lifeforce, Deathwatch, Dead and Buried and of course Night of the Living Dead.

Douchebags on Spring Break

[SpringJack0 · 1/10 · 19 March 2011]

Worthless crap.

I usually don't comment on anything as poor as this, but the sock-puppets who reviewed this film fooled me into watching it. If I can save even a single person this embarrassment, I must try. Brain cells are at stake.

This film might have been more impressive had it been directed by an 8 year old- though I'd still make sure someone kept him away from cameras in the future. I'd also recommend he be given a thorough examination by a child developmental specialist.

The film claims to be funny- the only 'humor' comes from post production fart sounds littered throughout and, I suppose, the dancing of the female 'actors'.

The zombie make-up appears to be made from red paint and a wasted chicken dinner.

The actors are unlikable, untalented and unwatchable. The two 'sex' scenes have the participants fully clothed and are about as hot as an episode of 'The Golden Girls'.

The hour and 12 min running time is padded out with cheap animation which is the best part of the production.

Beyond bad...

[javier1976 · 1/10 · 1 April 2011]

I like bad movies, I really do. Of the "so bad it's good" kind. This is NOT one of them. It is plain awful. It has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. They attempted to make a zombie comedy (a la Shaun of the Dead, Tokyo zombie or even Zombies of mass destruction) but failed miserably. They try too hard. There isn't a single funny moment. The two "actresses" are anything but sexy, even in the few scenes when they try to be. The "music" drowns out a lot of the movie's dialog. Not that your are going to miss much, but it can get annoying. The whole thing seems to be an attempt to make some friend's rock band known. They even have a show in the middle of the zombie onslaught. The zombies "talk" (they mumble and they included some moronic lines that they act out) and go to restaurants to eat "finger food" (hands) or drink human blood out of a skull. They make TV shows. There is even zombie Hitler... Just pathetic Don't be fooled by the reviews posted by the director's friends or by the somewhat cool cover art. If only you could give negative points I would, it's THAT bad.

Very poor, a waste of nearly an hour and a half.

[kevin_haddow · 2/10 · 19 March 2011]

I can only think those reviews giving this film good marks were written by the production staff. This film is really not very good, and I love zombie movies, even many low budget ones. The acting is absolute rubbish, and probably spoils the film more than anything else. The special effects are the kind pretty much any college film students can surpass.

Do yourself a favour and avoid this, there are much funnier, better acted and scarier low budget zombie movies out there, such as Fido and Dario Argento's Demons 1&2 from way back in the 80s. It kind of says something about how bad this is, that it is far worse than low budget zombie films that are approaching 30 years old. Half of the audience at the horror film festival went for something to eat, or catch up on some sleep, rather than watch this appalling film and I can't say I blame them, I wish I had too.

Seriously, avoid.

just no.

[flint_151 · 1/10 · 22 April 2011]

Definitely the sh*ttiest film i've ever seen.

I literally just registered so i can warn people just how bad it is, i really wish that you could vote less than 1 star.

Rubbish plot line, ridiculous acting,really shoddy acting and stupid humour.

I'm sure it's trying to promote the sh*tty metal band featured in it. It tries to make the girls in it sexy even though the blonde one is a stubby chubby whore and the other chick is just annoying.

It's also quite racist in a few parts. I hated this even more than Twilight, and i f**king despise Twilight.

Waste of time, don't bother downloading it, it's a waste of film space.

4th person to give a real review. Keep 'em coming

[thrashing69 · 1/10 · 21 March 2011]

I wish ratings went into the negatives, because that's the rating this film deserves. I'll give the tiniest credit to it and say it started off not too bad. But than the zombies arrive, and oh my God.... the awfulness of it. This movie invents a new level of cheese in it's jokes. Zombie's drinking beer, buying t-shirts, having a metal concert, i could go on and on.

To put it simply, there are so many bad things about this movie that come to mind, that I can't even keep my mind focused on one thing or another to write this review properly.

Also, It is pretty low to come here and write great reviews for your own film. You are just telling people that you know it's bad, and you don't expect anybody to say anything positive. It's just better to bow your head, admit you made a bad film, learn from the experience, and move on. Admitting that it's bad and learning from it can only make you a better film maker.

don't bother........ really,....... don't.

[mickflanagan-17-330250 · 1/10 · 2 April 2011]

i'm glad i bought this film from a Chinese DVD pirate and none of my 2 quid will make it to the pockets of the talentless fools who made this crap, couldn't even watch it all, a hundred grand to make? i could make a better zombie film for 0.01% of that, filmed on my phone using aldi ketchup for blood. it's completely unfunny, and dio Will be rolling in his metal grave to have his name associated with such drivel, don't get me wrong the concept could be amazing, voodoo zombies in the Caribbean, Bermuda triangle etc, even if done B movie style, independent film can be so much better than this for an even smaller budget, it seems like the filmmakers just spent the 100K on a holiday for themselves rather than to make a decent film, some peoples lack of any basic talent is amazing, following me round on one of my holidays would make for a far more interesting film

Zombie Driftwood = $h!T

[wallnutroof5309 · 1/10 · 21 March 2011]

AVOID THIS LIKE THE PLAGUE! Just atrocious, I cannot stress enough how awful this movie is. Only a quote said by Black Adder can express how this movie was: "It started badly, it tailed off a little in the middle and the less said about the end the better." This movie has the pace of a snail. Everything seemed to be stretched out to fill time. The characters were completely unlikable, as if they were scraped out of the bottom of the douche bag swamp. The effects used throughout the film could easily be outdone by any kindergarten level arts and crafts lesson. Nothing throughout the movie could even be construed as comedy. Just absolutely unfunny. This is a bad movie and everyone involved should feel bad.

Horrendous

[Zoooma · 1/10 · 5 March 2014]

Epicly terrible. 74th movie I have watched in 2013 and this is THE WORST. No joke. Sometimes people think movies that open at the theater on an average American weekend are the worst. No, they're really not. Sometimes they may stink but they're not EPICLY HORRIBLE like this. But I will give some points to anyone who can get a bunch of people together to follow a script, film it, edit it and have people see it. No matter how bad the movie, that's an accomplishment. However, if it was me, I would not want people to know I was involved in any way. I'm almost embarrassed to mention I watched it. So bad it's not even funny. If I had my way I'd snap my fingers and this "film" would vanish from existence so no one would ever see it.

0.7 / 10

--Zoooma, a Kat Pirate Screener

Warning - Don't watch this utter rubbish

[paully73 · 3/10 · 25 March 2011]

To start off I have a very high tolerance for crap horror movies but this had no redeeming features whatsoever. As a comedy it was incredibly devoid of humour, the jokes they did have - zombies taking over the film studio - were so over-worked that by the time you've seen them for the third time I can't imagine anyone would be laughing. Where I thought this film might excel, but didn't ,was as a schlock horror film but here still the gore was severely lacking.

Don't listen to the obvious reviews of those of who were involved with the film. So what if it cost them xx£ to make; a cheap crap film, is still a balls film.

What is wrong with you people?

[man-who-watches-crap · 24 September 2011]

This is hilarious!!! There are so many gags hidden in this movie. From the ticker tape under the news reader to all the undead jokes through it, it is just hilarious. My whole family was screaming with laughter watching it. The premise is simple. Cruise ship disappears in Bermuda Triangle, turns up empty and then the passengers come ashore as undead. They don't quite understand what has happened, so as well as eating people they still do all the touristy stuff, like drinking, dancing and buying souvenirs. The zombies get influence in the media and government and make laws to stop them being shot out of hand. Just watch it, it's so funny. This is so much better than Shaun.

Surprisingly entertaining

[miss_deth_addict · 8/10 · 22 April 2011]

I expected the worst when I started this movie, I really did considering the low rating and the bad reviews this movie received. Well I was pleasantly surprised when this movie turned out to be quite entertaining.

OK if you don't enjoy vulgar humour and poor word plays you might not want to watch this movie but if you don't take zombie movies seriously this one is an entertaining cheesy movie. Few winks for the metalheads is always appreciated on my side and so are the few new ideas this movie exploited. Not a classic but still worth watching if you want my opinion.

Go and enjoy . . .

[prm098 · 7/10 · 22 November 2010]

If zombies exist then they should be like this! A tongue in cheek romp on an exotic island that throws in fistfuls of jokes for those who like their humour to rattle! When zombies turn up at Driftwood beach bar on paradise island, it is every man and woman for him/herself especially once they have acquired a taste for alcohol. With handcuffed lovers, sexy dolls, a throbbing 'October File' soundtrack and a Scottish bagpipe thrown in for good measure, chaos soon engulfs the peaceful idyll. A bizarre bunch of alcohol-sodden beach bar regulars and visiting star crossed lovers are thrown a into life or death battle with the craziest group of zombies that ever graced a screen. They shop till they get chopped and eventually even insist that although they may have no brains they have, well, zombie rights.

If you like your humour poured on and your zombies merciless you can't go wrong. Go and enjoy . .

An insult to all Metalheads. Just a camcorder and mates messing about.

[Jester222 · 1/10 · 8 October 2019]

Totally cringeworthy dross. So embarrassing to watch. Had to skim through it just to see it it had ANY quality at all. If they are genuinely Metalheads then they should be ashamed. They set us back years with this deadful representation of who Metalheads are! So much cringe I almost turned inside out. Awful. Everything about it. The cheap dime store effects. The none existant acting. Ha ha. Soooo bad. It's not even so bad it's good. It's Cancer for the eyes. Avoid.

Very weird zombie movie...

[paul_haakonsen · 3/10 · 13 June 2011]

I watched "Zombie Driftwood" with no clue what it was about or what kind of movie it was, aside from it being a zombie movie. And being a zombie aficionado, I decided to give this movie a go. It didn't take very long before you come to realize that this is a zombie comedy, but not of the high end production.

The good thing in the movie was its originality, and they had put some effort into the movie. And the sets were nice as well.

"Zombie Driftwood" is not driven by a very potent story. It is fairly weak actually, a cruise ship stands on the shores of the Cayman Islands, and suddenly the island is flooded with zombies. But you never see the zombie actually come out of the massive ship! And most zombies were walking like they just had been probed by aliens. It was painful to watch some of the zombie shamble about like they were on fire and had to sneak through a meth-lab.

For being a low budget movie with unknown actors and actresses, I will say that most actually did a decent enough job, though there were the occasional horrible acting performance to be seen here and there.

Now, I am a metal-head myself and listen to nothing but metal. But the choice of music in this movie, like the title track, for example, was so out of place. It was too brutal for a movie, and it just didn't work that well. The zombie concert, however, worked out nicely, and it had just enough bad comedy in it to work.

I didn't understand the obsession with metal band t-shirts. Why did they have to be everywhere? Did the producer like metal music? If so, point taken and we got it already.

The zombie make-up, despite it being simple and low budget, it worked well enough. Keep in mind that this is not a massive blockbuster movie with a budget that most people doesn't see in a whole lifetime of working. So thumbs up for this.

And for a comedy, there weren't really any laughs to be found in the movie. Sure there were some scenes and moments that had comedy potential, but not to the point of breaking laughs. In the wake of "Shaun of the Dead", then "Zombie Driftwood" doesn't even reach up to the knees of Shaun...

They should have chosen not to have a zombie Adolf Hitler in the movie. That was a bit over the top, and it could prove offensive to a lot of people. Personally I found it to be annoying. Why would Adolf Hitler be on a cruiseship? He died in 1945, come on. And even if so, by the time that have passed since 1945 his reanimated body would be no more than a bones, not a fresh cadaver walking around spreading hate.

If you are a zombie fan and got an weird addiction to low budget movies that deviate from the mass market produced movies, then give "Zombie Driftwood" a go, otherwise there isn't much to come after here in this movie.

Some humor involved

[Knighthawk701 · 5/10 · 20 May 2011]

The story is simple. Zombies flood a holiday isle. A group of people are trapped in a bar were a band plays. Lots of people get eaten.

This is a zombie-humor flick. But some of the humor is quite childish, some is brilliant.

This is a UK movie, and sometimes they still mention the war. So a few zombies are German and they invade the beach and take all the seats. For US viewers that may be nothing comical, but I think most Europeans get that joke.

Also there is a lot of political correctness in the UK within the police force. They also make fun of that in the movie. Most people would fire away at zombies, not the police there. They want to arrest the zombies and be almost polite to them. Also the zombies protesting for their rights are funny, as is Zombie TV! The movie is not great or that bad, just some good laughs if you are in a good mood. The acting is not bad actually, the quality of filming is good too.

Note: watch the scrolling text at the new bulletins, some great stuff is being typed there (experts agree that taking sleeping pills and laxatives at the same time is not a good idea...)

Original and very funny .

[paulclassicrock-905-456121 · 23 November 2010]

This is a very unusual and very funny film . It turns the usual idea of a zombie movie on it's head and introduces the idea of a bureaucratic response to an zombie attack on a tropical tourist island . The zombies are preserved by the passing of a law protecting the undead tourists . The acting is superb and the gags just keep coming . I was at the London screening on 19th November and heard the laughter rolling round the cinema a rare thing in the cinema these days .There are elements of Monty Python, Spike Milligan and even Carry On and I loved the soundtrack with the heavy metal band introduced by Adolf Hitler on the Z Fuctor .

Comic zombie horror at it's finest

[k_imdb-919-677255 · 10/10 · 9 December 2010]

If you are a fan of zombie classics such as Night of the living dead and Shaun of the Dead, like myself, you'll find this movie a nostalgic ride through zombie filled comic moments. The producers have gone all out on the comedy aspect of the genre and have brought the zombies to life, not just humanising them, but giving them personalities in a unique fashion that sets the movie aside from other zombie classics.

Unlike many zombie movies which are stylistically dark and gloomy, Zombie Driftwood is set on the beautiful Island of Grand Caymen. A paradisal contrast to the carnage that takes place, and plenty of comic relief off sets the more gruesome moments! It's also good to see the cast were not afraid to get their kit off and there is plenty of nudity from the cast, as well as some much needed sex scenes between the 4 lovers! This movie will undoubtedly procure a cult following due to it's thrashing metal soundtrack, cameo and live performances from October file, it's original take on zombie behaviour and it's fun and lovable characters, including the cynical barman, the lovable drunk,& the zombie tourists!

A hilarious introduction to the world of the ZomCom

[i-obi · 7/10 · 6 December 2010]

This is a fun zombie romp perfect for those who don't take themselves too seriously and have a heightened sense of the ridiculous. Make no mistake, it is a super low budget movie with some creditable performances from a completely unknown main cast and from a cast of zombie extras who are clearly having a great time putting on a show for the cameras. The jokes which are liberally sprinkled throughout the film consist of the more obvious groan-worthy puns (which are as subtle as the proverbial sledge hammer) and the hidden gems you have to look for throughout the film. That's what keeps you watching Zombie Driftwood - you won't believe what's coming next.

This was my first experience of the Zombie Comedy, and my verdict is that it's well worth watching for a laugh.

Really funny

[mail-918-800986 · 9/10 · 8 December 2010]

This was a really funny film, I was pleasantly surprised. Saw the premier in London and I enjoyed it MUCH more than I expected to to be honest, and so did everyone round me - loads of chuckling going on.

Heavy soundtrack but sort of fits in, lots of running jokes with old rockers so not just for young people.

I think the bar man steals the show. CAn't believe it's so low budget - I mean it's obviously low budget but it doesn't look it - the production looks really classy (if that's possible with a zombie film!)

Yes it's a weird concept but it works, and you don't have to be a zombie freak to enjoy it.

Bermuda triangle, Grand Cayman, Cruise Ship & Zombies galore

[colin-265 · 8/10 · 3 December 2010]

A spoof and sometimes very funny movie. Amazingly it was made for around 100,000 pounds sterling. I have seen much worse for much much, more money. If you like lots of jokes with zombies, although looking pretty awful - they are actually 'nice' people and have rights, then you will like this movie. I know there are going to be some awful reviews as this isn't everyone's cuppa tea. The heavy metal music isn't mine but it fits well.

A cruise ship disappearing in the Bermuda triangle and then reappearing behind The Driftwood Inn in the Cayman Islands - a Caribbean paradise - is a simple plot and all the passengers are turned into zombies does make it interesting!

My only complaint, the zombies doing antics and speaking with the sub-titles was over done. It was extremely funny at first but even a good wine can be too much.

Do go and see it with a open mind and you will enjoy. The bar man is a hoot!