Hot in Cleveland (TV Series)

Free Elka (2011)

Wayne Knight: Rick

Quotes 

• Sara : That's your fianceé? Wow! You must be...

  Rick : Yes. Yes I am. Now, I'd like a bottle of your best champagne and a side order of your telephone number.

• Rick : Your mouth is saying hell no, but your eyes are just saying merely no. Now they're saying hell no.

• Joy Scroggs : You know, about your earlier offer...

  Rick : Oh, the one you so summarily rejected?

  Joy Scroggs : Yes. Well, things have changed and I need a green card right away, so here goes, I'm so desperate, I guess I will marry you. I'm sorry, that can't be how you pictured a proposal response.

  Rick : No, that's exactly how I pictured it.

• Rick : Champagne for everyone.

  Pete : What are we celebrating?

  Elka Ostrovsky : Joy's fake engagement to get a green card. Got a problem with that, porko?

  Pete : Congratulations.

• Rick : Don't misunderstand me. I mean the whole marriage would be a complete sham. I would expect nothing in return.

  Joy Scroggs : Then why would you do it?

  Rick : Let me demonstrate. Excuse me, miss.

  Carol : Yes.

  Rick : Hi, I'm Rick and this is Joy, my fianceé. I noticed your expression just changed. You were surprised to hear that we were a couple?

  Carol : Well, yes. I guess I was.

  Rick : I don't want to put words in your mouth, but several explanations may have popped into your head: He must have money, or he's extraordinarily gifted in bed, or he's so incredibly wonderful that she was able to overlook his non-conformist body type. Did any of those thoughts occur to you?

  Carol : Yes, all three of them.