Doug Walker: Nostalgia Critic

Quotes 

• Nostalgia Critic : Good God, how much porno does he have?

  [realizes he's on camera] 

  Nostalgia Critic : Oh, um, hi. Um... hi.

• Narrator : [reading question]  Would you join me in magic adventures on my pony unicorn - which can drill into the ground with it's penis - to the center of the Earth?

  Nostalgia Critic : What the HELL kind of question is that? Um... I don't know.

• Narrator : [reading question]  Why does hair grow on my hands?

  Nostalgia Critic : I don't know!

• Narrator : [reading question]  How would I go about taking over the world?

  Nostalgia Critic : Ah, now this one I can help you out with... I'm not telling you.

• Nostalgia Critic : Oh, what's he say? There's no such thing as a stupid question... I can't say that's true. You've clearly proven that wrong.

• Nostalgia Critic : I don't even know how I got here. I should be reviewing The Land Before Time... 24 or something.

• Nostalgia Critic : Okay, look, um... I don't know what kind of sick, sick people watch this show, but this is seriously creeping me out. I mean, why don't you ask some real questions, like, how are we going to fix the economy? Is there any proof that any god of any religion actually exists? Those are the real questions. I mean, what's this shit about dead kittens? What, are you fucking crazy?