Family Guy (TV Series)

Brian Writes a Bestseller (2010)

Seth MacFarlane: Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Tom Tucker, Penguin, Melanie Griffith, Paparazzis

Photos 

Quotes 

• Brian Griffin : [after getting shot down by Bill one-too-many-times]  Alright, I'm happy to do that. I-I'm just trying... What-what I was saying... Look jsut tell me what you want me to say!

  Arianna Huffington : [looks down at Brian's seat]  Bill, he's urinating!

  Dana Gould : [disgusted]  Oh, shit!

• [after Brian and Stewie encounter Renée Zellweger in a restaurant] 

  Brian Griffin : Get over here!

  Stewie Griffin : [nervously]  Is... Is everything okay?

  Brian Griffin : No, everything is not okay. Can you figure out what the problem is?

  Stewie Griffin : [stuttering]  I... I don't... I... I honestly have no... oh, God!

  Brian Griffin : How do you think I feel walking out of the back room of a restaurant and seeing Renee Zellweger eating in the front room of that restaurant? I am mortified! Absolutely mortified! You should know better than this!

  Stewie Griffin : I... I told them who you were when I made the reservation!

  Brian Griffin : Look, I have written a best-selling phenomenon! I SHOULD BE SITTING IN THE FRONT GODDAMN ROOM!

  Stewie Griffin : Okay, okay, I hear you, I hear you. And I just want you to know that my only goal is to be able to help you better. And you being honest with me, well, that's helping me do that. So thank you.

  Brian Griffin : Good!

  [gets into a private car] 

  Stewie Griffin : Oh, Brian, are you going straight back to the hotel? 'Cause I was gonna go back...

  [Brian glares with rage at Stewie] 

  Stewie Griffin : You know what, I'll just... I'll take a cab.

  [the car drives off. Stewie checks his wallet to find that he's out of cash] 

  Stewie Griffin : Oh. Well, at least it's not raining.

  [a a mugger stabs him in the back] 

• Brian Griffin : [after his book was criticized]  Aren't you a sitcom writer? Yeah, I'm an author, I have contributed to the zeitgeist!

  Dana Gould : [with total disbelief]  Do you even know what zeitgeist means?

  Brian Griffin : If I didn't know what it meant, I, I wouldn't use it, Dana, which is a girl's name. And you know, I'm not going to give you the definition right now just for your satisfaction.