The Double (2013)

Jesse Eisenberg: Simon, James

Photos 

16 more photos

Quotes 

• Simon : I don't know how to be myself. It's like I'm permanently outside myself. Like, like you could push your hands straight through me if you wanted to. And I can see the type of man I want to be versus the type of man I actually am and I know that I'm doing it but I'm incapable of what needs to be done. I'm like Pinocchio, a wooden boy. Not a real boy. And it kills me.

• Simon : I have all these things that I want to say to her, like... Like how I can tell she's a lonely person, even if other people can't. Cause I know what it feels like to be lost and lonely and invisible.

• James : You can't be doing anything gay. No ice-cream cones.

  Simon : I like ice cream.

  James : Of course. It's delicious. Ice cream is fine in a cup, but in a cone is gay unless you're with a woman at the time.

  Simon : Anything else?

  James : No riding on a motorcycle with another man. Exceptions are drive-by shootings, bomb throwings and purse snatchings. Anything else is gay.

  Simon : You seem to know a lot about this.

  James : Defense wins championships.

• Workers' Services Executive : You don't exist anymore.

  Simon : Excuse me?

  Workers' Services Executive : You're no longer in the system.

  Simon : Well, just put me back in the system.

  Workers' Services Executive : I can't put you back in the system.

  Simon : Why?

  Workers' Services Executive : Because you don't exist. I can't put someone who doesn't exist in the system.

  Simon : But I used to be in the system.

  Workers' Services Executive : Not according to the system. In fact, according to the system, you've never existed.

  Simon : How reliable is the system?

  Workers' Services Executive : Hey, it's completely reliable.

  Simon : Yes, but I used to exist. I do exist! I'm standing in the this room, aren't I?

  Workers' Services Executive : And?

  Simon : So how do I get back in the system?

  Workers' Services Executive : You need a card.

  Simon : Right. So can I please get a new card?

  Workers' Services Executive : No.

  Simon : Why?

  Workers' Services Executive : Because you're not in the system.

• Simon : It's terrible to be alone too much.

• The Colonel : There aren't too many like you. Are there, Simon?

  Simon : I'd like to think I'm pretty unique.

• Simon : I don't want to be a boy held up by string.

• James : I would tear the asshole off an elephant for a piece of trim I wanted that bad.

• Simon : A person can get really sick by just floating by.