Like Cross Bearer, this film has had a big build up and hard sell as the director lurks on every horror forum board and Facebook page he possibly can, pushing his films as much as possible. He does seem quite a nice guy, and takes criticism well, so I will give him that, also The Cemetery is edited at a decently professional level, and it actually looks quite good on screen, but..... Man, the product as a whole is terrible, truly awful. The acting, dialogue, and story is around the level of a porn film, and throwing in topless shots of tattooed girls, and inane death metal on the soundtrack just makes the whole thing look juvenile. The gore which includes a broken bong to the throat, guts being ripped out, and a bone getting ripped from a leg etc is totally ineffective, why? Because there's no build up, no tension, and no caring whatsoever for the characters. There are also repetitive cut away scenes of gore and narration that become more and more annoying as the film goes on. I really was glad when it was over. I can't imagine what any true horror fan would get out of Alhbrandts movies to be honest, they're tired, clichéd, and pretty sad really. Uwe Boll is Scorcese compared to this guy.
6 Reviews
Where should of they buried this script? The Cemetery...
hiryu_rhys30 August 2014
I have always loved horror movies and have always been a fan of B-movies and the corny/campy fun they bring along. I mean seriously who doesn't?
After waiting the entire movie for something redeeming to make this film interesting to watch, I came to the conclusion that the credits at the end of the movie was it.
Sadly there wasn't anything even worth mentioning to convince you to sit through this abysmal movie.
The script for this movie was terrible, not sure if that was the main reason for the terrible acting but it probably didn't help.
I hate ripping apart movies but if there is nothing positive to boast about I would rather inform others about not wasting their time and look for better alternatives to this flick.
After waiting the entire movie for something redeeming to make this film interesting to watch, I came to the conclusion that the credits at the end of the movie was it.
Sadly there wasn't anything even worth mentioning to convince you to sit through this abysmal movie.
The script for this movie was terrible, not sure if that was the main reason for the terrible acting but it probably didn't help.
I hate ripping apart movies but if there is nothing positive to boast about I would rather inform others about not wasting their time and look for better alternatives to this flick.
Did nothing for me.
LegionAvalon19 August 2014
Warning: Spoilers
Boobs, check.
Gore, check.
Thrash soundtrack, whatever.
Plot, wow check, we're on a roll!
Attractive actors, well each to their own.
Snappy script, I've seen worse.
Effects, again, I've seen worse.
... and yet... I just didn't care about these guys, character development? More like lack-of-character development, these guys aren't even bad enough to hate, they're just a waste of human form.
... and the 'evil' voice-over. It sounds like he had a cold.
Maybe could have been a short comedy horror but in this format it just did nothing for me. Sorry guys 2/10.
Gore, check.
Thrash soundtrack, whatever.
Plot, wow check, we're on a roll!
Attractive actors, well each to their own.
Snappy script, I've seen worse.
Effects, again, I've seen worse.
... and yet... I just didn't care about these guys, character development? More like lack-of-character development, these guys aren't even bad enough to hate, they're just a waste of human form.
... and the 'evil' voice-over. It sounds like he had a cold.
Maybe could have been a short comedy horror but in this format it just did nothing for me. Sorry guys 2/10.
Promising premise, Awful Movie
indianajones7919 October 2014
A group of heavy metal dorks venture into the Pennsylvania wilderness to document a haunted cemetery. Or something.
Gruesome and bloody at the very start, trite and boring throughout the remainder, The Cemetery is a movie with a clichéd story and predictable ending.
Filled with forced dialog and acting so bad it would be more at home in a porno flick. Gratuitous sex and sophomoric attempts at crass humor try to pad out the weak story line with very minimal success.
Good only for a laugh, and not a good laugh. You can most likely find it at the bottom of the discount DVD bin at 7 11. And once you've found it, throw it away.
Gruesome and bloody at the very start, trite and boring throughout the remainder, The Cemetery is a movie with a clichéd story and predictable ending.
Filled with forced dialog and acting so bad it would be more at home in a porno flick. Gratuitous sex and sophomoric attempts at crass humor try to pad out the weak story line with very minimal success.
Good only for a laugh, and not a good laugh. You can most likely find it at the bottom of the discount DVD bin at 7 11. And once you've found it, throw it away.
A great horror movie concept, ruined by attempt at dark comedy
redban0212 July 2023
When I first turned this movie on, I thought it looked promising. The backstory, involving a haunted gravesite in the woods, as well as the imagery of the possessed people was so creepy. I also found both of the female leads, Andrea and Sarah, to be quite attractive
But for some reason, the filmmakers decided to go in the direction of a comedy-horror: there are so many crass jokes, over-the-top scenes, and unlikable characters. None of the comedy elements worked, and the horror concept basically fell by the wayside.
I don't know why they didn't just make a regular serious horror movie; it had so much potential.
But for some reason, the filmmakers decided to go in the direction of a comedy-horror: there are so many crass jokes, over-the-top scenes, and unlikable characters. None of the comedy elements worked, and the horror concept basically fell by the wayside.
I don't know why they didn't just make a regular serious horror movie; it had so much potential.
The cemetery movie...excellent graveyard movie
sobhagraveyardfreak12 April 2014
Adam Ahlbrandt has made a excellent movie...the narration, story and direction was superb.J D Brown and Natalie Jean has really performed well in some horror movies...specially at graveyard...the city of graveyard...has done excellent acting which is highly recommendable...The cemetery is a good movie to watch....who loves horror...graveyards...In whole laundry list of horror, graveyard and cemeteries I found graveyard movies are terrifying realistic and make much horror...In this movie the cemetery the actors have done a great fantastic job..mostly liked this scene in the movie.. As the producer and host of the reality TV show "Ghost Seekers," Bill and his crew have seen it all: abandoned prisons, haunted houses, and decrepit mental hospitals. Night after night of boring trips to empty run down buildings has left them sure that the dead stay dead and that ghosts are the furthest thing from being real. Their lack of faith will soon be repaid in blood.
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