Machete Kills (2013)

Amber Heard: Miss San Antonio

Photos 

Quotes 

• Machete : [Looking to a wall of weapons]  What happen to the world peace?

  Miss San Antonio : Fuck world peace.

• Luz : I knew I smelt bitch in the air tonight!

  Miss San Antonio : Payback's the only bitch you need to worry about! This dress costs more than your FUCKING LIFE!

  Luz : Didn't anybody ever tell you not to wear a dress to a gunfight?

  Miss San Antonio : Oh, baby, I always dress to the nines.

  Luz : I dress to kill.

• Miss San Antonio : Watch it now Pussycat. That's not a very ladylike kinda thing to say.

  Luz : I don't do ladylike.

  Miss San Antonio : So what then, you're just a regular old cranky bitch? Or is it PMS?

  Luz : If it were PMS, you'd be dead already.

• Machete : Good luck on that pageant.

  Miss San Antonio : I'm gonna need a lot more than luck! Did you see the ass of Miss Corpus Christi?

• Miss San Antonio : Try not to be distracted by the cleavage and the hairspray. That's part of my cover.

• Miss San Antonio : Really? You're gonna make me kill a blind chick? I'm pretty sure they're gonna take my crown for that.

  Luz : That's all right. They'll just give it to the next bimbo who spreads like butter.

• Miss San Antonio : So now what happens?

  Luz : Ask the last guy who shot my eye out.

• Mr. President : Machete, what's this I hear about you having Mendez in custody?

  Machete : Things got complicated.

  Mr. President : No shit! You were supposed to take him out, not give him a joyride on the Good Ship Lollypop! Damn it, I didn't recruit you for your sense of compassion. Machete kills. That's what he does! He doesn't save the bad guys! Now shoot that motherfucker!

  Machete : If he dies, you die. The missile is wired to his heart.

  Mr. President : Come again?

  Miss San Antonio : Machete, can it be disarmed?

  Machete : Only where it was made. VozTech.

  Mr. President : VozTech is the biggest weapons supplier to our military! You want to bring him all the way back to the fucking manufacturer?

  Machete : I need your help getting him across the border. This is a part of something big. I can feel it.

  Mr. President : Last time I sent a black op team into Mexico, they got dead and I got the Oval ass-fuck.

• Miss San Antonio : [to Machete]  Look at you, smarter than the average Mexican.

• Miss San Antonio : For crying out loud, will one of you well-paid, well-trained gentlemen please shoot that motherfucker!

• Miss San Antonio : The M4 carbine long-range. It's got reflex sights, micro-polymer grip, a customized trigger. Fast enough to nip a jackrabbit on roller skates. That is, of course, you happen to come across a jackrabbit on roller skates.