Zachary Gordon: Greg Heffley
Photos
Quotes
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[from trailer]
Greg Heffley : I can't believe it's so crowded here. Maybe we should come back.
Rodrick Heffley : How about never? Does never sound good?
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Rowley Jefferson : I did promise my mom we wouldn't go on any scary rides.
Greg Heffley : But Rodrick says you haven't lived until you've been on the Cranium Shaker.
Girl at Cranium Shaker #1 : Have you ever been on this ride?
Girl at Cranium Shaker #2 : It's way scary.
Girl at Cranium Shaker #1 : Did you hear what happened on it last summer? Well, my brother knows a guy whose second cousin's half-brother went on this ride and got decapitated.
Girl at Cranium Shaker #2 : No way!
Girl at Cranium Shaker #1 : Way.
Cranium Shaker Operator : It's true. I was working the ride that day. The car came down, and his head wasn't in it.
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Greg Heffley : [seeing yearbook photo of Greg when he was a much younger kid] What the heck?
[Flashback to the Heffleys' kitchen. Frank is getting ready to leave for work, while Greg is eating breakfast]
Susan Heffley : [from the other room] Honey, Greg was sick on picture day. Did you remember to send in a photo of him for the yearbook?
Frank Heffley : [having clearly forgotten] Yeah! I remembered!
[in a hurry, grabs the first picture of Greg that he sees. The flashback ends, and a car horn honks, telling everyone to get out of the way. A red convertible pulls in, blaring loud pop music]
Rodrick Heffley : [notices the teenage girl in the passenger seat] That's Heather Hills.
Heather Hills : [to Holly] Get in.
Holly Hills : But I need to finish signing Greg's yearbook!
Heather Hills : News flash. I don't care.
Holly Hills : [to Greg] Sorry.
[gets into the car]
Greg Heffley : But you didn't...
Rodrick Heffley : [shoves Greg out of the way; to Heather] So... Heather. I'm going on a world tour with my band. If you're around, I could comp you chicks some tickets.
Heather Hills : [pointedly ignoring Rodrick; to her friend Madison, the driver] Let's go.
Greg Heffley : [to Holly] Wait! Holly!
[Before Greg can stop them, Heather and Madison speed off with Holly, deliberately rolling the car over Rodrick's foot in the process]
Rodrick Heffley : [hops in agony] AHH! OW! Ow! She was trying to act cool, but I know she was into me.
