Suburban Knights (2011 Video)
Doug Walker: Nostalgia Critic, Ask That Guy With the Glasses, Chester A. Bum, Link
Photos
Quotes
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[last lines]
Chester A. Bum : Oh my god, I won a car!
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Bennett the Sage : [in a lion costume] Greetings, sons of Adam, daughters of Eve. I am King Aslan.
[everyone erupts in laughter]
Bennett the Sage : Oh, shut up!
Nostalgia Critic : I don't know, Ass-man. I don't think ya got the noive!
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The Spoony One : So, it's like LARP'ing?
Nostalgia Critic : No! That's just a bunch of dorks dressing up and fighting for a fake reward.
The Spoony One : Well we're a bunch of dorks dressing up and fighting for a real reward.
Nostalgia Critic : Exactly!
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Nostalgia Critic : [to Phelous about his costume] You look like a steroid elephant turd!
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Nostalgia Critic : Don't review it!
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Nostalgia Critic : I can't believe this. We're losing to an After School Special!
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Nostalgia Critic : [as Linkara sings] Hey, Andrew Lloyd Fucker, knock it off with Spamalot over there.
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Nostalgia Chick : [Critic is sitting in a chair with his legs spread, revealing his "gear"] There are certain things... that should be covered... up.
Nostalgia Critic : [oblivious] I know. That's why I've got the hat.
Nostalgia Chick : There are... There are certain things that need to remain closed.
Nostalgia Critic : I know, and I for one respect Chick-fil-A for not serving people on Sunday. I wonder if we can get it so they don't serve Christians.
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Nostalgia Critic : Phelous! Inspire us! Say something stoic!
Phelous : I wanna die!
Nostalgia Critic : Perfect!
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That Dude in Suede : Before we continue, you must defeat me in mortal combat.
Nostalgia Critic : What?
That Dude in Suede : Here, hit my sword.
[Critic hits Suede's sword with his]
That Dude in Suede : Ah, I am defeated.
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Chuck Jaffers : Hey man, I just found out what the internet is. You guys are awesome!
Nostalgia Critic : That's great, really great. So we cool now?
Chuck Jaffers : No, I still gotta kill you.
Nostalgia Critic : Of course.
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Nostalgia Critic : God, this thing is so difficult. Who would've thought a chain letter would be so difficult?
Everyone : A chain letter?
Nostalgia Critic : Shouldn't have said that.
Obscurus Lupa : We've been following a chain letter this whole time?
Handsome Tom : Fucker!
Nostalgia Critic : Okay, it may have come from an anonymous source, but I swear it's legit! Oh, by the way, we have to mail this to 50 or more people or else we get bad luck.
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Ominous Voice : Go no further! Go no further! I am the Watcher in the Woods. I see all.
Nostalgia Critic : Well, what do you want?
Ominous Voice : Anyone who wishes to pass must answer three questions correctly. Only then will I allow them admittance. If not, you do not want to know the alternative.
Nostalgia Critic : Alright. Ask your questions.
Ominous Voice : Question one: Do you have any money?
Nostalgia Critic : No.
Ominous Voice : Do your friends have any money?
Nostalgia Critic : No.
Ominous Voice : Is there any place close by where you can get money?
Nostalgia Critic : Not really, no!
[Chester A. Bum pops out from behind a tree, holding his change cup like a megaphone]
Chester A. Bum : Okay, you can go.
Nostalgia Critic : Does that ever work?
Chester A. Bum : [annoyed] It does for people who have MONEY!
