Mathew Buck: Film Brain

Quotes 

• Film Brain : Cut the patronizing narration, Romero! Surely you of all people should understand the necessary subtly required. I swear, this movie would be an hour long if it wasn't for these.

• Film Brain : Romero's gotten so sloppy in his old age that he's forgetting basic continuity!

• Film Brain : So Jason goes off to get himself killed, because Romero thinks bloggers would rather die than survive for some reason. Jason gets attacked off camera. Symbolism!

• Film Brain : Symbolism... again?

• Film Brain : People panic when they get scared? No shit, Sherlock. I mean for crying out loud, you don't need narration to tell you the blooming obvious!

• Debra : It's funny, you spend so much time resenting your parents. Separating yourself, building your own life.

  Film Brain : Speak for yourself, you little bitch. I happen to like my parents, thank you very much.

• Tony : She just killed three people back there. Three living, breathing people like us.

  Film Brain : Shut the fuck up, you douchebag! Not only were they blatantly zombies, but I think she has enough guilt without you calling her a murderer, you twat!

• Film Brain : Because the first thing I notice about a guy who's on fire is how stupid his hat looks.

• Film Brain : It's really sad when Romeo, who used amazing practical effects in his previous zombie movies, uses abysmal CGI gore. Tom Savini is sorely missed.

• Reporter : If we don't stop the slaughter within three days, our death rate will quadruple. Within ten days, it will have risen by 100%.

  Film Brain : That doesn't make sense. If something is quadrupled, it is 400% higher than it was before. I think Romero is getting a bit old, he's forgetting basic math skills. I think he may need to see a doctor.

• Film Brain : Really? The news is recut so it looks like white people shooting immigrants? What the hell are you even talking about, Romero? I mean, this social commentary is so outdated, he'll be talking about the L.A. riots next.

• Film Brain : It's comforting to know that even in times of chaos, the internet will still be working. So remember, even after the world has gone to shit, you can still watch Channel Awesome while sat next to a flaming barrel for warmth.

• Film Brain : Jason proceeds to get lost in a warehouse corridors. A sequence POV would be perfect for, and that could be suspenseful. Unfortunately Romero totally ruins it by cross-cutting with people not doing much of anything, completely deflating suspense.

• Film Brain : Cameras don't kill people, editing does!