Suburgatory (TV Series)

Fire with Fire (2012)

Carly Chaikin: Dalia Royce

Quotes 

• Dalia Royce : My parents are getting a divorce, you know.

  Tessa Altman : I know. And that sucks, and I'm sorry. I'm sure it's really painful.

  Dalia Royce : You know what's gonna be painful? When my mother remarries your father and I'm your new sister and Dad likes me best, and then we send you away to an all-girls boarding school where you find true love, and on visiting day, I come up and steal your new girlfriend. The following spring we marry in a civil ceremony which you are forced to cater. And everyone hates your catering. And you get a bad review on Yelp, which pretty much sinks your organic lesbian catering venture.

• Dalia Royce : [Putting false eyelashes on Lisa]  It's not my fault. Your eyeball is so big it keeps getting in my way... . There. Now your eyelashes aren't so stumpy.

  Lisa Shay : Wow. I don't even recognize myself.

  Dalia Royce : That's what I was going for.

  Lisa Shay : Thanks, bitch.