Resident Alien (TV Series)
Bye Bye Birdie (2024)
Corey Reynolds: Sheriff Mike Thompson
Quotes
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Mayor Ben Hawthorne : I have had some complaints regarding the Sheriff's Department.
Sheriff Mike Thompson : I told you it was a terrible idea to put up that suggestion box.
Mayor Ben Hawthorne : Yes, I got that from the note you put in the suggestion box telling me to take down the suggestion box.
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Sheriff Mike Thompson : Taxpayers shouldn't have a say in how their tax dollars are spent. That's anarchy.
Mayor Ben Hawthorne : Well, some people call it democracy.
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Mayor Ben Hawthorne : I asked to see you in my office.
Sheriff Mike Thompson : No, you said you'd like to see me in your office. And I don't blame you. Hell, I'm a statue of masculinity. If I was in your office, you'd probably walk in every morning and say, "Damn, now, that's what I want to be."
Mayor Ben Hawthorne : If you were a statue in my office, I'd hang my jacket on you.
Sheriff Mike Thompson : I'd want you to, because I'd be made out of metal, and I'd be cold.
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Sheriff Mike Thompson : Everything Okay, Deputy? You got your sad face on.
Deputy Liv Baker : Really? I have a sad face?
Sheriff Mike Thompson : I'll give you a tip. Here, put this pencil in your mouth. Sideways.
[sticks his pencil in her mouth]
Sheriff Mike Thompson : There you go. You feel your smile muscles stretching out? See, when you're sad, you fool your body into thinking you're happy, then you feel happy.
Deputy Liv Baker : How long does it take?
Sheriff Mike Thompson : Uh, seven minutes. Of course, I'm a pro, so I did it in three using that very same pencil.
[Liv spits pencil out]
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Sheriff Mike Thompson : Now, you are the strongest person I know, except when you're around your Grandma Patty. You need to stand up to her.
Deputy Liv Baker : I can't. She's mean and gives deceptively powerful noogies.