Nostalgia Critic (TV Series)

Star Trek: Insurrection (2012)

Lewis Lovhaug: Linkara

Quotes 

• Nostalgia Critic : Well, let's see what's on television.

  [clicks remote. TV reveals Linkara in Starfleet uniform. Kill Bill theme plays in background. Linkara makes angry look, Critic is terrified] 

  Linkara : Hello, Critic. Start the review.

  Nostalgia Critic : [Critic cries for a few seconds]  Last time in the good Star Trek movie...

  [60's Batman music begins playing as clips from Star Trek: First Contact is recapped] 

• Nostalgia Critic : [unamused]  And now we've come to the final film of Star Trek Month, "Star Trek: Insurrection," with "special guest star": Linkara...

  Linkara : Hello, adoring fans! I've come all the way here on my spaceship to talk to you about the most HATED of all Star Trek films!

  Nostalgia Critic : Wait a minute, THIS is the most hated? I thought it was like the first one or five that was the most despised.

  Linkara : That may be the case with other fans, but for me personally, THIS is my least favorite out of the entire franchise. So you need ME here or else you'll screw this review up like you've done so many times before!

  Nostalgia Critic : What? When have I ever screwed something up?

  Linkara : [pulls out stack of papers; reads]  In your "Battlefield: Earth" review, you said that the Psychos never have explosions on their planet... when that's NOT what they said in the movie! It was that the air they breathed reacted violently to radiation!

  Nostalgia Critic : My God... you're defending "Battlefield: Earth?"

  Linkara : No, I'm pointing out the fact that you can never get details right! So we're gonna do this together so it gets done CORRECTLY!

• Linkara : [about the "no technology" philosophy of the Baku]  I'm sorry, but I'm not behind this. At least not the way these pompous jerks are flaunting it. First of all: you have machines! We saw your irrigation lines, you idiots! And those clothes look pretty damn well-tailored for a group of people that don't have the ability to manufacture them properly. Second: this movie builds this place up like it's paradise, Eden, or perfection; however, their philosophy is the exact OPPOSITE of what "Star Trek" stands for! "Star Trek," in the end, is about how advanced technology has done us so much good, how it allows us to do so many great things, and that the future will be a bright one because, partially, we want for nothing. THIS movie, however, tells us we need to get "back to nature" and be smug, hippie jackasses who reject technology and machines in favor of being so inbred that we don't believe in any other colors for our clothes except brown!

  Nostalgia Critic : Yikes, Linkara...

  Linkara : I'm sorry, but I really hate these people! They piss me off!

  Nostalgia Critic : What, do you hate Amish people, too?

  Linkara : No, THEY hate ME. But at least the Amish have religious reasons for rejecting technology. THESE guys are just dumb! WE SEE THEM USING TOOLS! And in the end, what is technology but just advanced tools?

  Nostalgia Critic : Well, on the bright side, at least we don't have to deal with them any longer...

  Linkara : [cuts in]  ... They're the focus of the movie...!

  Nostalgia Critic : Fuck!