Parks and Recreation (TV Series)

Sex Education (2012)

Aziz Ansari: Tom Haverford

Photos 

Quotes 

• Tom Haverford : Oh my God, Jerry? When you check your email, you go to AltaVista and type "please go to yahoo.com"?

  Jerry Gergich : Well, how else would I do it?

  Tom Haverford : You don't have your email bookmarked? Do you have any bookmarks?

  Jerry Gergich : What's "bookmarks"?

  Tom Haverford : God, Jerry! You don't deserve the internet!

• Judge Lankito : Mr. Haverford, you have a problem keeping your eyes on the road and off your electronic devices. I'm going to tailor a punishment to fit the crime. One week without screens. No phone, tablets, computers, television - anything.

  Tom Haverford : No! Please, send me to jail!

• Tom Haverford : [after crashing Ron's car]  A deer jumped in front of the car, and then a bear jumped in front of the deer!

  Ron Swanson : [Reads from the phone]  "'Tommy-edamame' is back on the grid. Tell everyone to light me up with their dijjies - gotta load 'em into my burner."

  Tom Haverford : Yes, I went to Best Buy and bought a phone.

  Ron Swanson : Out of the car, now.

  Tom Haverford : Where are we going, Ron? Are we walking to Best Buy to get a better phone?