- April Ludgate: You're presenting this to Ron Swanson. Don't talk about any of your old, failed businesses; get rid of that stupid light show; and definitely don't use any weird, made-up words that Ron doesn't understand.
- Tom Haverford: But the presentation's tomorrow at 8 AM. We don't have time to start from scratch!
- April Ludgate: Well, if you do any of that, he's not going to invest, so... your funeral.
- Ben Wyatt: Okay, look, you gave it a try, but this quilt thing is not going to work.
- Leslie Knope: Ben, on three separate occasions, I have used a quilt to mend fences. In ninth grade, a quilt ended an argument between my two best friends, and a quilt settled the Donna-Jerry parking lot feud of 2006.
- Ben Wyatt: What was the third time?
- Leslie Knope: Right f***ing now.
- Ben Wyatt: Okay, I still don't think it's gonna work, but I am really attracted to you right now.