- Berta: [after first meeting Missi] That, my friends, is what you get when hillbillies have unprotected sex with hummingbirds.
- Missi: Would you be offended if I popped the girls out?
- Walden Schmidt: What?
- Missi: You know, get a little color on Kim and Khloé?
- [she is referring to having Walden rub suntan lotion on her breasts]
- Alan Harper: You know what may help? A little less...
- [gesture smoking pot]
- Alan Harper: Wow dude, where's my car?
- Walden Schmidt: No it's not the pot. I don't smoke the pot since... it's... it's not the pot.
- Walden Schmidt: So, your dad tells me your your thinking about relocating?
- Missi: Well, to be honest with you, I'm not really sure what I wanna do. I could always keep working as a dental assistant. You know, that person that sucks the spit out of your mouth with that little wet vac and then gives you the free toothbrush and a lollipop? You do know what the lollipop's for right?
- Walden Schmidt: Well, I'm assuming...
- Missi: Repeat business. You know, if it were up to me, I'd just give them a caramel apple or taffy or something. Pull their teeth right out of their little heads. Now that's how you make money off children. Well, that and baby beauty pageants.
- Walden Schmidt: Right. So you mean there's a lot...
- Missi: Do you have a girlfriend?
- Walden Schmidt: No, I do not. I just went through a breakup.
- Missi: Oh, you poor baby. I am so sorry. Could you put some suntan lotion on my back?
- Walden Schmidt: Uh, sure.
- [Walden takes the spray can of suntan lotion, Missi turns around and he sprays her, then stops, she turns around shocked that he stopped spraying her]
- Missi: Well, don't forget to rub-a-dub-dub.
- Walden Schmidt: Rub-a-dub-dub?
- Missi: Yeah, you gotta rub it in.
- Walden Schmidt: Oh. Yeah, okay.