Caroline Channing: Look at all these people just sitting here, not tipping, working on their computers. This guy has a brand new Apple, I've been eating the same apple for a week. I blame Steve Jobs.
Max Black: These people are more like, Steve "I Have No" Jobs. All right, that's it.
[Max walks over to Earl]
Max Black: Earl, I need to get the wireless router.
Earl: Oh, is that what this is? I though tit was a cookie warmer.
[Max takes the wireless router from Earl]
Max Black: Attention deadbeat diners. You can't just sit here all night and only order coffee. This is not a Starbucks. And I know that because we don't sell Norah Jones CDs or bananas. This is the router for the free WI-FI. And that is a waitress who needs to make some tips.
Caroline Channing: Seriously guys, I need actual cash. This guy just offered to pay me in ideas.
Max Black: If I pull this plug, the Internet will go down. And you,
[Max points to a customer]
Max Black: that sad e-mail you're in the middle of writing to your ex-boyfriend, the one you shouldn't send anyway? Gone. And you.
[she points to another customer]
Max Black: that vaguely pornographic anime film you've been illegally downloading for the past three hours? Gone. And you,
[she points to another customer]
Max Black: that screenplay you've been writing? You can keep working on it, but we all know how it ends, with you moving back in with your mother.
Caroline Channing: Now, who's gonna order?
[Everybody raises their hand]
Max Black: Great, I'll go get some menus. Here, Caroline, put this back.
[Max gives the router to Caroline but the plug accidentally comes out, shutting down the Internet]
Earl: Ooh, my cookie warmer.