The Oscars (2013 TV Special)
Mark Wahlberg: Self - Presenter
Quotes
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Ted : [Performing the voice of "Ted", who is digitally-inserted into the broadcast] Boy, this is pretty cool, huh? You and me at the Academy Awards!
Mark Wahlberg - Presenter: Best Sound Mixing & Best Sound Editing : This is insane, dude.
Ted : Heh, look at all this talent. All this talent in one spot! There's, uh, there's Daniel Day-Lewis... There's Alan Arkin... There's Joaquin Phoenix. And you know what's interesting? All those actors I just named are part-Jewish.
Mark Wahlberg - Presenter: Best Sound Mixing & Best Sound Editing : Oh, okay...
Ted : What about you? You got a "berg" on the end of your name, are you Jewish?
Mark Wahlberg - Presenter: Best Sound Mixing & Best Sound Editing : Am I Jewish? No, actually I'm Catholic.
Ted : [Whispering] Uh, wrong answer. Try again!
Mark Wahlberg - Presenter: Best Sound Mixing & Best Sound Editing : What?
Ted : Look, you wanna work in this town or don't ya?
[speaking aloud to the audience]
Ted : Uh, that's interesting, uh, Mark, because I am Jewish.
Mark Wahlberg - Presenter: Best Sound Mixing & Best Sound Editing : No you're not!
Ted : I am! I am! I was born "Theodore Shapiro", and I would like to donate money to Israel and continue to work in Hollywood forever. Thank you, I am Jewish.
Mark Wahlberg - Presenter: Best Sound Mixing & Best Sound Editing : You're an idiot.
Ted : Oh, well, we'll see who the idiot is when they give me my private plane at the next secret synagogue meeting.
Mark Wahlberg - Presenter: Best Sound Mixing & Best Sound Editing : Look, I'm not doing a sequel with you, okay? And the nominees for Best Sound Editing are:
[Ted reads the nominees]
Mark Wahlberg - Presenter: Best Sound Mixing & Best Sound Editing : And the Oscar goes to...
[opens envelope and looks back up at audience]
Mark Wahlberg - Presenter: Best Sound Mixing & Best Sound Editing : We have a tie... No BS, we have a tie.
[announces the winners]