- Peter Griffin: Have you ever just driven through a town and wondered who the hell lives here?
- Glenn Quagmire: All the time.
- Glenn Quagmire: [learning the real truth about Joe's crippling] Wait a minute. Bobby Briggs is the one who crippled you? You always told us you fell off a roof during a fight with the Grinch.
- Joe Swanson: [holds Briggs at gunpoint] You're not gonna get away this time, you son of a bitch!
- Bobby Briggs: [holds up his hands in surrender] Please, don't kill me! I'm not married! My life is awesome!
- Joe Swanson: I've waited 15 years for this moment, Briggs. Do you have any idea what it's like to have to lift yourself into a wheelchair every morning? To have your wife look at you like you're half a man? To get preferential parking? To board a plane early with the first-class people and gold card members? All right, it's not all bad. But I'm not going to kill you. I'm not an animal like you.
- Bobby Briggs: [last words] So, what are you going to do, arrest me?
- Joe Swanson: No. I don't arrest cripples.
- [shoots Briggs in both legs and Briggs falls backwards to the ground, groaning]
- Joe Swanson: By the way, you're under arrest. I only said that last thing cause it seemed cool.
- [Peter and Quagmire ran up to Joe]
- Peter Griffin: Oh, my God, that was so awesome. I saw everything. You were all like...
- [deep mumbling]
- Peter Griffin: And Briggs was all like...
- [high-pitched mumbling]
- Peter Griffin: And then you were all like...
- [mimics two gunshots]
- Peter Griffin: And then Briggs's legs were like...
- [mimics video game sound effects from Pac-Man]
- Joe Swanson: [sees Briggs dead] Oh, crap, he's dead. I think he bled out. I must have hit the femoral artery.
- Glenn Quagmire: Ah, just kick him into Mexico.
- [kicks Briggs's body into the Rio Grande river]