Community (TV Series)
Conventions of Space and Time (2013)
Joel McHale: Jeff Winger
Photos
Quotes
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Britta Perry : Jeff, why are people staring at you?
Jeff Winger : 'Cause they've never seen a man who's had sex before?
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Jeff Winger : Bow before Thoraxis!
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Lauren : Excuse me, I don't mean to bother you, but are you Nigel Cuthbertson, the actor who played Thoraxis?
[Jeff turns around, ready to deny it, but then sees it's a pretty lady and changes his mind]
Jeff Winger : [in a thick, terrible British accent] Call me Nige.
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Annie Edison : We come all this way, and you just leave me alone without so much as sending a text message? I'm sick of it, Jeff... Nigel... Winger!
[tries to throw two more drinks in Jeff's face, but realises they are empty]
Annie Edison : Can I get two more of these, please?
Jeff Winger : Enough! This day has turned crazy. I'm gonna go upstairs, towel off, and pray to God that I wake up in the middle of a final in a class I didn't know I was enrolled in.
[storms off, leaving Annie to huff]
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Pierce Hawthorne : What's this about a road trip?
Jeff Winger : Look, Pierce, no one was trying to leave you out. We just assumed you wouldn't be interested. Which is why we left you out.
Pierce Hawthorne : That's not fair. Why can't I go to a Captain Warptime Convention?
Abed Nadir : Because you'll ruin it.
Pierce Hawthorne : I'm getting sick of everyone assuming that I have nothing to offer. You know, in Ancient Greece, it was considered an honor to invite a person my age to a space convention.
Jeff Winger : We didn't invite Shirley either.
Pierce Hawthorne : Oh. Well, that's better then.
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Jeff Winger : Well, I just went upstairs and saw your room. Saw the two robes, the two coffee cups, one with lipstick, one without. And... I saw actual hair that looked a lot like mine on my side of the sink, so I have some questions.
Annie Edison : Oh, God.
Jeff Winger : First one, is that actually my hair, and, if so, did it fall out naturally? Because if it did, you need to tell me right now, 'cause I have to call science.
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Jeff Winger : I just need to get my sunglasses, and then we can go.
Abed Nadir : We're gonna be late, and you don't need sunglasses to go to an Inspector Spacetime convention.
Jeff Winger : You're right. For an Inspector Spacetime convention, I would need a bag to put over my head.
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Jeff Winger : Hey, Annie, sad news. They closed the ski slopes. A dozen scouts got buried in an avalanche.
[deadpan with arched eyebrow]
Jeff Winger : So sad. I say we cut our losses and head home.
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Jeff Winger : But there are a lot of things that you think are fun that I wouldn't want to do because I'm...
Annie Edison : Older?
Jeff Winger : Not lame.