April Rain (2014) User Reviews

YOU CAN'T KILL EVERYONE I DO BUSINESS WITH

[nogodnomasters · 4/10 · 17 April 2018]

A group of Homeland security types has people undercover wanting to stop the bad guys from "raining" down on LA. The plot is super simple. The music and sneers let you know who the bad guys are. The sound editor didn't know what to do with gun fire during the slow motion shoot outs...heck just put it anywhere. The only real conflict in the film is supplied by women who are either wives, ex-wives, girlfriends, or bosses. This is a film where Luke Goss emerges as the best actor, something I would not have expected. Near the end Luke suddenly pulls out a Bible and hands it to a fellow agent proclaiming, "There are no atheists in foxholes." Where did that come from?

This feels like a pilot for a TV program as the ending doesn't give you closure.

Parental Guide: F-bomb, sex, butt nudity.

A background bag of Kettle Chips steal the show.

[tarbosh22000 · 2/10 · 24 November 2016]

Watching The Weather Channel provides more thrills and excitement than this movie. Here's our forecast: you won't be watching this anytime soon. Man, we really suffer for this site. We've sat through plenty of turkeys, and...this is another one. While this does have that low-budget, painfully DTV look, those aren't the main problems. The whole tone of the movie just seems off - it will occasionally lapse into being a soap opera, then there's a silly shootout, then some horribly-written dialogue delivered flatly, then maybe some gangsterism, then some CW channel-style teen drama, and all of it comes out of nowhere and serves no real purpose.

Is this supposed to be an action movie? It's hard to tell what the filmmakers were thinking, or even if English was their first language. Maybe something got lost in translation. But they did manage to get some DTV-level names for the cast, which is more than you might expect. Former teen heartthrob Andrew Keegan isn't on the cover of Tiger Beat magazine anymore...here he's some sort of Russian mobster. And Vincent Spano is a SWAT team member with marital problems. Okay. Luke Goss is a cop who is somewhat on the edge, but doesn't seem to be able to muster up enough enthusiasm to really be on said edge. Ming-Na Wen is his boss. There's a bunch of overlong dialogue scenes that are pretty childish. And speaking of stuff that's juvenile...

A main part of the threat that our heroes are fighting against in this movie is the potential onslaught of terrorists on scooters. SCOOTERS. This is taken gravely seriously in the world of April Rain. To prove this point, there's an amazingly not-badass scooter chase that director Luciano Saber probably thought was amazingly badass. Rather than a fighting force of anti-terror warriors, it looks like a dry-run rehearsal for a Sugar Ray video.

During one of the unnecessary soap opera scenes, which takes place in a kitchen, Luke Goss is on one side of the screen, his wife is on the other, and a bag of Kettle Chips are dead center between them. For a long time. The Kettle Chips steal the show. The dialogue WE were having during this scene was more drama-intensive: "Oh, this family buys Kettle Chips? Cool." "I wonder what flavor?" "Well, that's the red bag, so, what is that..." "I think it may be barbecue." "I don't like barbecue flavored chips. That's like taking a bite of barbecue sauce. I find that gross" "Okay, whatever, weirdo." This is sparklingly witty dialogue compared to the leaden dullery that is April Rain. And there's some of our hated bathroom humor/dialogue that we hate and always rail against. The strikes against the movie are piling up fast.

If you - yes, YOU reading this right now - got your friends together, broke out the old Go Pro or some other video camera, and tried to make a movie, odds are it would be vastly better than April Rain. How unmitigated crud like this gets made and distributed will always mystify us. Looks like it's heading for the sewer...

Amateur Try

[mistercomposer · 3/10 · 3 August 2015]

For me it wasn't a total waste, but I agree that the acting was second rate. I kept being reminded that the characters are really just actors, so I knew I was in trouble. Where it finally got to be too much for me, was when the boss man and the government mole arrive at the terrorist training camp and as he's talking to the other terrorists, they notice the mole in the distance talking on his cell phone. When confronted by this breach in protocol, his "cover" was that he was talking to his mother who had just had a fight with his father. The boss demands to talk to her, apparently as "proof" he is telling the truth and is, incredibly, fully satisfied, it seemed, that it was a woman on the line. He assumed she must be his mother, and not a female government agent, and didn't seem to worry that he, even if it were true, it was perfectly natural for him to be doing that. Whaaaaaat?????? What kind of amateur spy is this, that would find it perfectly reasonable for a terrorist, on a dangerous mission, to be consoling his mother after having an domestic quarrel???

Worst acting ever!

[tes796 · 10 August 2014]

This straight-to-TV movie probably served well as an acting class for the unknowns. The acting in this movie was so horrible it makes Sharknado look like Gone With the Wind! It was so bad, I think some of the "actors" weren't even professionals. I think it was more Ed Wood style where he let friends and contributors have parts in the movie. Really, really bad acting and bad movie with really, really bad acting. The plot wasn't horrible, but there was a lot of unnecessary pauses and scenes that could have/should have been cut. Actually, the entire movie should have been put on the shelf and left there until such time as one of the younger actors became famous enough that it would have embarrassment value.

When, will i, will i make a good movie?

[stuartbell64 · 1/10 · 30 August 2014]

Okay, let's get this straight....i love bad movies, hey, i seen loads..Frankenstein meets the space monster, Robot Monster, deadly spawn,Plan 9.....i could go on and on...but this movie? It's a different kind of "bad"..as in total excrement! The acting is so bad, the scooters, the chase scenes, Luke Goss,this is a new kind of low.....boredom guaranteed The bad boss guy looks like Max Wall, enough said! Someone mentioned Ed Wood in another review of this film, hey Ed Wood was a genius and would never have wasted time on this. I cannot understand how this even made it onto DVD!! The accents slip and slide all over the place. In these dangerous times that we live in, this film is a mockery of true life, it's an embarrassment to the art of cinema....it's AWFUL!

Avoid at all costs!

Don't Waste Your Time

[slfitzpa-10-2780 · 1/10 · 6 July 2014]

I was watching this movie on July 5th, 2014 - and the release date was June 4, 2014 - one month from release to cable - direct to video I guess.

I wont bother with a plot summary other than to say there is a "secret" government agency, a terrorist plot using Vespa-type scooters (and....one high speed chase using said scooters)and some horrible acting, writing and directing.

But...................

Look closely children of the 80's..........VINCENT SPANO IS BACK!!!!! And no....his acting hasn't gotten any better.

If you dare watch this - make sure you're ready to say "WHAT?????" at the end.......

Horrid

[david427-20-508807 · 1/10 · 26 August 2014]

Possibly the worst movie in the history of motion pictures.

Horrible writing, directing and acting. Scenes that don't go anywhere, are randomly tossed in it would seem. Who sent that tip off text? Why did Alex bolt out his apartment at the end? Obviously this is some kind of rip off of the successful series, Homeland. Except it watches like someone with a mental illness wrote it. Maybe all the scenes that would have helped make the movie make sense ended up on the cutting room floor? We can only hope.

Semi decent production values for a low budget turd.

Terrorist using scooters? Why does their hideout base in the middle of no where California look like a US Army combat post in Afghanistan?

oh....my........GOD!!!!!!

[Drewboyz · 1/10 · 6 September 2014]

There wasn't a 0 on here so I couldn't give this movie the score I wanted. Also calling it a "movie" doesn't feel right.

Jeeeeeeezus! I have watched films that have bad acting or the script is crap, the directing poor but to have all three in the one project that takes the cake!

Oh I forgot the casting! that's a 4 out of 4!

Really, what is wrong with the industry where total crap like this gets made? I agree with David this quite possibly could be the worst film ever made. You usually know a movie is going to be bad when the opening credits roll.

This has every bad cliché known to man. The acting is so bad I constantly had to put my jaw back in place. The direction abysmal, the script ridiculously bad.

Rent this thing if you can find it and use it as an example of how NOT to make motion pictures.

a "1" is pushing it...

[ventime · 1/10 · 30 April 2015]

I am not even pleased that it cost me nothing to watch it. Terrible effects, shoot outs at near arms length with no one getting hit, I could go on and on.

In short, the Director, Editor and Technical Consultant(s) should have their credentials yanked. Even the writer should retire or go into spoof comedy.

The only movie that I have seen in the last 10 years worse than this one is "The Ninja Immovable Heart". I think I rated that at a -2.

I feel bad for some of the Actors/Actresses. Some of them have done far better.

Far from ELITE!

[toddsfabshop · 1/10 · 9 May 2015]

WOW, I mean WOW was that bad. I'm at a loss for words. I actually joined just to write my first movie review. The acting was just plain bad and the characters weren't believable. The foreign accents were all over the place and didn't seem to work for me. The shoot outs were at very close range and the accuracy didn't appear too sharp. "Trained" SWAT or special forces guys were doing things and putting themselves in positions that I don't believe they would. The end of the movie just left me saying WHAT?. I don't even care, I'm not going to watch it again to figure it out. I'm going to tell my friends that this movie is a must see just so that I can get some value from it when they watch it know they have been duped. For those who gave this movie good reviews, we are obviously not judging on the same criteria.

SIU versus motley crew of terrorists.

[suite92 · 4/10 · 24 October 2016]

The Three Acts:

The initial tableaux: A transaction between crime groups goes bad quickly. One group kills the other. There are repercussions, like disposing of a body, and sniffing out any government spies. The local cops show up for a moment, and are eliminated. One undercover agent calls for help, and we meet more of the local SIU (Special Investigations Unit) team. The emphasis shifts from mob crime to terrorism.

Delineation of conflicts: Terrorists (foreign and domestic) want to kill people and blow things up. The SIU tries to stop this. Local police are clueless and largely not involved. Wives are enraged with their cheating husbands. Tariq has a beautiful wife, a good job, a nice house, and local friends, but he hears the call of terror, which is clearly more important to him than all the other factors put together.

Resolution: Lots of people get killed, which simplifies the game going forward somewhat. This film ended because the credits showed up. That is, it looked like a sequel was expected to be made.

..beloved neighbor turns into a nightmare of others and shocks not only friends but it's own family by leaving them for a greater good: faith

[chrispiorkowski · 10/10 · 15 October 2014]

A wonderful written story how our beloved neighbor turns into a nightmare of others and shocks not only friends but it's own family by leaving them for a greater good: faith. Well navigated plot of an emigrant who became an US Citizen and accomplishes he's goal no matter what it cost even the cost of his wife and kids without being concern about, turns him into a terrorist. There's not only dynamic cast and crew in order to make this action film but the vision of the Director Luciano Saber who brings all his tricks and ideas using drones and difficult camera angles in order to make it an unforgettable experience. It's a film that is surrounded to so many stories close to us today. It looks like the Director Saber can be very versatile in a film genres today making him not only super creative but also that has a vision. Certainly we will see soon another of his great works in a theaters around.

Not a bad soap opera made for TV Lazy Day B movie Thriller!!! Don't believe all the negative reviews.

[randyelassal-194-425639 · 7/10 · 1 September 2015]

This is NOT a bad movie. OK, maybe it is. Every aspect is more than predictable. You don't have to figure out what comes next. If you are like me and enjoy something in the background that draws your attention once in a while, enough to keep up with the plot while you work on the computer then this is a movie for you! If you want a great piece of film that captures your attention and stays with you for days then look elsewhere.

Luke Goss (Blade 2, Hellboy 2) and Doug Savant (Godzilla 1998) do decent jobs as special agents, as does Vincent Spano who plays Doug's partner. It's also nice to see Ming-Na Wen (who I think does a great job in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.) albeit for only some brief screen-time.

There is some laughable character development followed by more believable emotional exchanges all in the same 15 minutes, more than once, but hey, that is part of the fun. All in all I would give this B grade TV movie a chance if you like "Lazy Day" flicks and aren't overly critical. If you are a cine-file then watch B movies like Lisa and the Devil (1973) or The Man Who Fell to Earth (1976) instead.

Solid cast and intriguing plot

[AlliBear · 10/10 · 18 October 2014]

I really enjoyed this movie! The whole point was that we as Americans need to be vigilant and on the lookout for this type of behavior. I thought it was insightful and creative and it should, in the very least, spark conversation about the scary possibility of domestic attacks. Really worth the watch! Thank you Showtime for picking it up! Also, I was glad to see seasoned TV actors take the time to work on an indie film such as "April Rain" and shed more light on the subject matter. As far as the production value, given the budget limitations most independent films struggle with, this one opens with aerial shots of the L.A. skyline, it has multiple gun battles and shootouts with automatic weapons, fist fights and chases. Yes, the scooter chase wasn't the typical action movie car chase, but it was an important part of the plot. As one of the characters said; "scooters are small and easy to maneuver." A scooter could very well be the vehicle of choice if a criminal would want to get away from the scene of a crime quickly. Great cast and story.