- Piper Chapman: You know I could tell you a lot of things that would scare you, Dina. I could tell you that I'm going to make you my prison bitch. I could tell you that I'm going to make you my house mouse, that I will have sex with you even if we don't have an emotional connection; that I'm going to do to you what the spring does with cherry trees but in a prison way. Pablo Neruda. But why bother? You're too tough, right. Yeah, I know how easy it is to convince yourself that you're something you're not. I mean you could do that on the outside. You can just keep moving, keep yourself so busy you don't have to face who you really are. But you're weak.
- Dina: Back the fuck off me.
- Piper Chapman: I'm like you Dina. I'm weak too. I can't get through this without somebody to touch, without somebody to love. Is that because sex numbs the pain or is it because I'm some evil fuck monster? I don't know. But I do know that I was somebody before I came in here. I was somebody with a life that I chose for myself and now, now it's just about getting through the day without crying. And I'm scared. I'm still scared. I'm scared that I'm not myself in here and I'm scared that I am. Other people aren't the scariest part of prison Dina. It's coming face-to-face with who you really are. because once you're behind these walls there's no where to run, even if you could run. The truth catches up with you in here Dina and it's the truth that's going to make you her bitch.
- [sitting at the lunch table with Nichols and Morello, who is insinuating that Piper and Alex are having an affair]
- Piper Chapman: No, absolutely not. That's ridiculous.
- Nicky Nichols: Okay, where were you then? 'Cause I went by your cube...
- Piper Chapman: Where was I?
- [cut to dark chapel]
- Piper Chapman: [moaning]
- Alex Vause: I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm...
- Alex Vause: [whispers] Shh. Show, don't tell.
- Larry Bloom: I was supposed to go to that.
- Larry Bloom: Really?
- Larry Bloom: Yeah.
- Piper Chapman: You were?
- Larry Bloom: Yeah, but then I sat down. Gravity works very strongly on me. Especially when it's sweltering outside and when Almost Famous is playing for the 400th time.
- Piper Chapman: Yeah.
- Larry Bloom: Plus, I'm plant-sitting, so, you know, if I went anywhere I'd have to take them with me, and I'm not sure if they're all over 21. So...
- Suzanne 'Crazy Eyes' Warren: Other prisons get to do Shakespeare and shit. I wanna play a role. Like Desdemona, or Ophelia, or Clair Huxtable.
- Piper Chapman: I want somebody I can have adventures with.
- Polly Harper: Look, adventure is just hardship with an inflated sense of self.
- Big Boo: Listen, I heard you cured Janae's knee. Is that true?
- Tiffany 'Pennsatucky' Doggett: Yes, yeah. I am just a simple woman, doing the work of the Lord.
- Big Boo: I see. Uh, look that's really... It's incredible. Um... Do you think you could help me?
- Tiffany 'Pennsatucky' Doggett: Well what's hurting?
- Big Boo: My mind, I have unclean thoughts.
- [whispering]
- Big Boo: Lesbian content. What do you think? You think you could help?
- Tiffany 'Pennsatucky' Doggett: You know, you're messin' with me and I don't mess with my Lord that way.
- Big Boo: No no no, I'm not. No no no, I'm not, I swear. I mean since... Look, since I had Little Boo, I found these feelings of mothering deep Inside me. I think someday I might wanna have a kid. But I don't want to do it with another woman, 'cause those kids, they always turn out gay. And being queer, that is really hard life. The cycle of terror ends now, with me. I swear.
- Tiffany 'Pennsatucky' Doggett: You're serious?
- Big Boo: Mmm-hmm.
- Tiffany 'Pennsatucky' Doggett: You ready to take on the Lord's grace? Kneel before me. Bring the dog, please. Right here before me we have a sinner, Lord, who's ready to accept you into her heart. Cleanse her heart of sickness and her mind of filth.
- Big Boo: Yeah, I'm still seeing filth.
- Tiffany 'Pennsatucky' Doggett: Concentrate! Dear Lord, I ask you today to help this sinner find a life of family, a life of rightness. We're gonna make her pure and whole and good again. As I lay my hand on this child's head, right here, right now, I ask you Lord, help her. Help her become gay, Lord, no more!
- Big Boo: I don't feel any different. Wait, let me try picturing the 2008 U.S. women's soccer team, that usually works. Okay. Kick it, kick it! Wait. Wait, I don't feel anything. I don't feel anything!
- Tiffany 'Pennsatucky' Doggett: It worked!
- Big Boo: I don't like this. Change me back! Don't leave me here like this. Don't leave me straight!
- Tiffany 'Pennsatucky' Doggett: Thank you, thank you.
- Big Boo: [shouting] Change me back!