- [as Alistair is using a cash machine, two muggers walk up close behind him]
- Mugger: [pulling out a knife] Don't scream. Don't look at me. Just put in the PIN number, take out 200.
- Young Hooded Man: Come on, put in the fucking PIN number!
- Alistair Ryle: [as he waits for machine to give him the money] It's uh, it's actually just "PIN".
- Mugger: What?
- Alistair Ryle: The N stands for number, it's Personal Identification Number. So, if you say "PIN Number" you're saying "number" twice. You're saying "Personal Identification Number Number". It's just... it's just wrong.
- [the second mugger shoves him and he bangs his head against the wall and falls to the ground]
- Mugger: You think you're fucking clever?
- Alistair Ryle: Jesus, please!
- Mugger: Shut it, you posh twat. Pompous little prick.
- [he spits on him and walks away]
- Harry Villiers: So, we're at the top university in the world, yeah?
- Alistair Ryle: Arguably.
- Harry Villiers: And so are 20,000 other people. But there are no more than ten in the Riot Club. The top ten.
- Alistair Ryle: This bourgeois outrage when we do anything, say anything. Anything we ever build or achieve. Anything with the slightest whiff of magnificence. How did they get everywhere? How did they make everything so fucking second-rate? Them thinking they're better because there's more of them! That's not sweat on their palms, it's envy. It's resentment! And it stinks like a fucking drain! I'm sick to fucking death of poor people!
- Charlie: I'm really sorry, I don't do more than two visits in a row without a break, so...
- Alistair Ryle: What break do you need, if you're just lying there?
- Charlie: I'm not just a live version of the sock you wank into.
- [last lines]
- Alistair Ryle: Could have been a mistake.
- Jeremy: People like us don't make mistakes, do we?
- Alistair Ryle: So, OK, they want all the stuff. Nice car, massive telly. So they borrow more money than they can ever afford to pay back. Then, when the great New Labour shop in the sky goes up in flames, they vote us back in to sort it out.
- Guy Bellingfield: It's because you've got no heritage, that's why.
- Dimitri: I've got a boatload of heritage.
- Guy Bellingfield: No, mate, you've got a boat.
- Harry Villiers: [to Dimitri] Why didn't you get a Lamborghini?
- Guy Bellingfield: Mate, he's Greek. He's doing austerity measures.
- Alistair Ryle: [to the owner of the restaurant that the Riot Club has just wrecked] Shut up and listen. This is how it works. You go back out there quietly, we do this and we pay you very generously.
- Chris: People let you do this?
- Alistair Ryle: Oh, most people are smart enough to take the treats and shut up.
- Chris: I don't want your money.
- Alistair Ryle: [laughing] Then what are you trying to do with this tawdry little cum shack?
- Chris: People like you think you can buy your way out of everything, don't you? You think the world just revolves...
- Alistair Ryle: Oh, I know, I know. You're torn up inside because you think you don't like me. News for you, you fucking love me. You'd like to be me. You just can't quite admit it, can you?
- Dimitri: [George wants to be president of the Riot Club] Better start my campaign, then.
- Guy Bellingfield: You?
- Dimitri: Election's next term, isn't it? What, you think I wouldn't be good?
- Guy Bellingfield: Just didn't think you would be going for president.
- Dimitri: [in an Ali G voice] Is it 'cos I is Greek?
- [Bellingfield smiles but doesn't answer]
- Dimitri: Jesus, Bellingfield, it's because I'm Greek?
- Guy Bellingfield: No. No, mate, come on. Mate, how long have we been friends?
- Dimitri: Since the first day of school and you think I couldn't be president because I'm Greek?
- Alistair Ryle: We apologise. We apologise for being who we are. We pretend we're the same, we do it to ourselves. We need to stop apologising, because it's only going to get worse.
- Eager Chap: Am I right in thinking you might be a member of the Riot Club?
- George Balfour: Uh, well, uh, you know, not supposed to say, really. Uh, cloak and dagger and all that.
- Eager Chap: Well, it's just, I was wondering how I might go about applying for membership.
- George Balfour: Yes. Um, the thing is, and I'm terribly sorry about this, but I'm afraid if you've got to ask, you're not really the right sort of chap.
- Chris: You're no better than a bunch of kids breaking shop windows. You're just spoiled little brats.
- Hugo: We could all get sent down from college.
- Miles: And that's the worst possible thing you could imagine happening is it?
- Hugo: Miles I have holes in my pockets and no one useful on speed dial. I'm built for hiding in libraries.
- Miles: I'm not gonna lie to the police so you can ponce around in a fucking cape for the rest of your life!
- James: The thing is mate. It's nine against one whatever you say... ..