- Jess holds a bachelorette party for Cece. Cece shows up with her fiancé's aunt and things turn G-Rated. The guys throw Shivrang a bachelor party. Jess tells Nick to get a picture of Shivrang's privates. Schmidt needs a date for the wedding.
- Nick wears his dead father's tangerine track suit his mother sent. Schmidt thinks he looks like a homeless pencil. Nick explains he has a "dead dad pass," which means he can do or say anything he wants. They get invitations to Cece's wedding, which is in three weeks. Schmidt is annoyed he doesn't get a plus one. Nick takes further advantage of his dead dad pass and washes his feet in the sink.
Later, Jess informs Winston and Nick that she's throwing Cece a surprise bachelorette party tonight at the loft, so they have to leave. Cece's been planning her bachelorette party since she was a kid and wants a really dirty one. She needs them to get her away from Shivrang.
At her place, Cece gets the cold shoulder from Shivrang's grandmother and aunt. Schmidt shows up at Cece's demanding his plus one. She says he can have one if he has a serious girlfriend by the time of the wedding.
At the loft, Jess' lesbian doctor friend Leslie is 39 weeks pregnant and lusting after all of Cece's model friends. She offers free gyno exams if they need them.
In the car outside, Shivrang's aunt insists on coming up to the loft with Cece, who thinks she's just picking up a CD from Jess. Nick hops in the car and gets "sorry, I thought you were Jane Lynch" when Shivrang sees his track suit.
Upstairs, Jess has crafted a game of "pin the dong" on a Shirvrang cut-out. Cece confess she hasn't seen it yet. Cece has a quiet freakout about the fact she's about to marry someone she's never seen naked. She asks the girls to keep it g-rated for his aunt's sake.
Nick and Winston take Shivrang to the bar. Jess calls Nick, needing a picture of Shivrang's penis to show Cece. "I need it to scale, so please put a nickel or a big toe or a golf pencil in it for reference," she asks.
Jess says they can come home in 20 minutes if they do it.
At the loft, the girls are bored out of their minds. They play the slide show Jess made which shows Cece boozing it up.
Schmidt joins the guys, reporting that women are liars. He's been going back to girls he slept with and never called and asking them to be his girlfriend. (One of them is just relieved she doesn't have herpes.)
He thinks he's not a relationship guy. Nick reminds him about Elizabeth (Merrit Weaver), his college girlfriend, during his "big guy" period. Schmidt decides to invite her.
Nick takes a picture of his junk and tries to get Shivrang to do the same, but gets nowhere.
The slide show continues to show photos of Cece in embarrassing situations. Auntie asks Cece if this is the kind of wife she's going to be. Cece protests that the party was a surprise and she didn't want any of it.
Jess pulls her aside and asks why she's pretending to be someone she's not. She suggests they slow things down. "I don't think you should marry Shivrang if it means changing who you are!" Jess says.
They start yelling at each other and are interrupted by Alfredo the male stripper.
Shivrang goes to the bathroom and Nick follows and shouts fire, while Winston lights an actual fire in the waste basket. Nick tries to say a photo of Shivrang's penis will help with his grieving process, then confesses they need it because Cece is freaking out. Shivrang goes to talk to her and Winston "solves" the problem by sending Jess the photo of Nick's junk instead.
Auntie demands to see the photo and immediately understands why Cece is worried. "Where I come from women cry about this for days," she says.
Schmidt shows up on Elizabeth's doorstep. She knows he wants something. "My model ex-girlfriend is getting married to some small little Indian man that I just don't understand. I want you to pretend to be my girlfriend so that she breaks off the wedding and runs away with me," he says. She explains that "big guy" was a wonderful boyfriend, but then he lost weight and got mean and she has no interest in helping him. "And I hate your hair."
At the bachelorette party, auntie tells raunchy stories about seeing her husband's junk. Nick comes home, hoping no one saw the photo. They all did. "Prize hog, Shivrang," Jess says. But he says it wasn't his. Jess goes for a second look when she learns it's Nick's.
Cece explains to Shivrang there's a lot they don't know about each other. Shivrang offers to whip it out. She says things are moving fast, but maybe that's what makes it special. He politely corrects that his name is pronounced "Shiv-rung." "I don't know how to pronounce your name?!" she says. He promises to do his best to make her the happiest woman on the face of the earth.
Later, Schmidt tries to talk to her. "Cece, if I was ever selfish in our relationship..." "What do you mean 'if' and what do you mean 'relationship?'" she asks. He sincerely apologizes and says he doesn't need a plus one.
Cece finally asks Jess to be her maid of honor.
Schmidt shows up on Elizabeth's door again, with three large pizzas. He tells her "big guy" is still in there, but he needs her to coax him out. She suggests he eat all the pizza while she watches. He has a moment with a piece of pizza, reveling that he doesn't even know what pepperoni is made out of.
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