Community (TV Series)
Economics of Marine Biology (2013)
Joel McHale: Jeff Winger
Photos
Quotes
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Pierce Hawthorne : Ah, the barbershop. A reminder of a bygone era when men were men, and women were sex cooks who did laundry. I've been getting a daily shave here for decades.
Jeff Winger : And apparently, reading the same eight magazines the entire time.
Pierce Hawthorne : Yeah, National Geographic's got some tribal boob shots that are exquisite. There's something about a breast that's never been touched by white hands.
Jeff Winger : You are a complicated man.
[texts Annie, "When will this hell end?"]
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Pierce Hawthorne : Hey, Jeff, there you are. I was thinking we could swing by this great barbershop I know. You're looking a little stubbly, and nobody handles a razor like an Italian. They develop nimble fingers from pleasing their mistresses.
Jeff Winger : Thank you for opening my eyes to two new stereotypes.
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Jeff Winger : Actually, you can count me in on this one.
Shirley Bennett , Dean Pelton , Annie Edison , Britta Perry , Abed Nadir , Troy Barnes : What?
Jeff Winger : You had me at "no Pierce."
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Dean Pelton : Age, 22, total years spent in high school, seven. Sat score zero. And he was recently arrested for selling marijuana to a police officer at a police station.
Britta Perry : So, you want us to help you recruit this idiot instead of an honors student or a science genius?
Jeff Winger : [sarcastically] Do we go to the same Greendale?
Dean Pelton : Ah, but let me reveal the fortune inside this cookie. Family net worth, $8 million. Ladies and gentlemen, this is what we in the community college recruiting game call a "whale." The perfect mix of low intellect, high lack of ambition, and limitless parental support.
Jeff Winger : So, a rich dumb-dumb who will never graduate and keep dropping money into the school indefinitely. Got it.
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Jeff Winger : I can't believe I'm gonna say this. Don't talk about Pierce like that.