Nostalgia Critic (TV Series)

Top 11 South Park Episodes (2013)

Doug Walker: Nostalgia Critic

Quotes 

• [the Critic is talking about the South Park episode in which Britney Spears gets so much attention in the media, at the expense of the world, so they try and exploit her] 

  Nostalgia Critic : It talks about the obsession with celebrities our society has, but "South Park" asks the important question, "Who the fuck cares?" There's no doubt that people love bullshit, but this episode says, "For the love of God, get a fucking life and stop thinking how you can live through others!" It's like that show, "TMZ". You know, the... worst humanity has ever put on... in the... history of the human race? So terrible that I hate getting a clip to show you because I feel like getting the footage is giving them a fraction of support and that makes me feel like the devil? That fucking bad? And yet people still watch them like they're saying something important, when all they're doing is praying somebody will blow their brains out to preserve whatever measly shreds of journalistic decency they have left?

• Nostalgia Critic : [aggravated about the show "TMZ"]  FUCK THIS SHOW! If you're actually dumb enough to watch past the first two seconds without realizing it's sucking whatever intelligence you have, then you deserve your purgatory of rubbing tabloids on your genitalia, thinking you're getting laid and claiming to others you know how the world works when really, you're just crying your virgin ass to sleep every night while eating your Dorrito and Cap'n Crunch sandwiches! No, seriously, you stab God every time you see this show! You rape a kitten every time you don't turn the channel!

  [all the while the Critic is ranting and raving, the following messages are displayed: "FUCK THIS SHOW!", "STOP IT YOU FUCKING IDIOTS!", "You CAN'T be this big of a loser! You just CAN'T!", "Seriously? I mean... SERIOUSLY?", "Give humanity some hope!", "Live your life!", "Do something outside!", "Kim Kardashian's Shoes? Who Gives a Dick?", "They are the Devil's Anal Warts!", "Just Stop!" and "FUCK THIS SHOW!"] 

  Nostalgia Critic : FUCK THIS SHO...

  [suddenly calms down] 

  Nostalgia Critic : Not a fan.